Them, Me and My Broken Heart
by what.it.takes
Summary: Get past the press- try not to be front page news. Get past quidditch try outs- try not to break your nose. Get past the family- try not to clue Rose into anything "personal". Get past that stupid crush- try not to let Teddy Lupin break your heart
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

I know what they say about me, whisper behind my back. I'm judged wherever I go. On what I wear, who I'm with, how I act. And everything reflects on my father. My father, the great Harry Potter. Do you know what it's like to be his youngest child and only daughter? Not fun. No sixteen year old wants the pressure of portraying a good family image on their shoulders.

And the cherry on top? I've been told I'm the mirror image of my mum, except that I have my Grandmum Lily's dark red, straight hair and Uncle Ron's blue eyes. I could easily pass for Mum's twin in pictures. It only adds to the pressure, though. Having famous parents is enough of a struggle, but looking just like one of them? At least I'm not Al or James, I suppose, because looking just like the Chosen One has to be worse than looking like a quidditch star.

It's just another cliché, how we look like our parents. But haven't you heard? Clichés are the foundation, the essence of our generation.

There's Teddy and Victoire, childhood friends fallen madly in love. James and Macy, hate-love relationship all over again. Rose and Scorpius, Romeo and Juliet classic. Albus and Lacey, friends through another. Hugo and Emilie, barely knew each other, then love at first sight. Me and Teddy, unrequited love.

That unrequited love happens to be a factor in where I decided to spend my winter break. That, along with the fact that I _might_ have let my grades slip a bit and kind of needed to focus on my work.

I do miss my family, though, far more than I had expected to. I mean, I really should have expected it, when I was younger I had been the clingy one who got homesick just from a few nights at my grandmum's. But this was necessary, I often reminded myself.

It would be only a few years before I would be off in the _real _world. The _adult_ world. A world where I would likely be thousands of miles away, working in smoky air with dragons, and not seeing my family for months, if not years at a time, if Uncle Charlie was an example to go by. Vacations were sparse when you worked on a reserve.

An owl flew through my window, its black wings and grey eyes ever so comforting. I hugged Mish, my owl. She playfully nipped at me and held out the letter. I opened it.

_Lily,_

_Hope you are having a wonderful Christmas Eve dear, everyone round here misses you terribly. I hope you know that. You should have seen James and Albus's faces when we told them you weren't coming home this year. James tried to hide it, saying you were growing up and that 'Of course she'll want to stay with her friends.' But Lily dear, we know Sarah Longbottom went home, too._

_I'm quite aware of the fact that Teddy and Victoire are very serious about their relationship at the moment. And I know your feelings. I just do, it's my job as your mother. I would like to point out that Victoire has changed, I remember to this day, the pivotal moment when you two no longer were friends. Around the same time she grew a bit more snobby and uppity? Darling, she may be family, but I know everything about being the younger sibling, thought of as a sister and having to watch other girls be with him. I'm not recommending you do what I did, that all would've failed if not for your father's change of heart. You're a different kind of brave than I am. Much more like your Grandmum Lily. Act on that sort of bravery._

_You namesake had to put up with your Grandfather James for the longest time, she was betrayed by her friends, watched people she loved die, and saw so much ripped from her. And she never broke. You're like her Lily, honey. You'll bend, as the world throws whatever it has at you, but you'll never break._

_The rest of us Weasleys, we break all the time. Over little things. And we build each other back up. Potters break, too. You've seen your brother James and your father. You and Albus, though. You're Evans' at heart. Kind, hardworking, smart, and enduring. You keep everything behind closed doors, put your best foot forward. You have that fiery temper that Al lacks, and James has. You can handle everything._

_I remember last year, even Hugo was sick with worry over OWL's but you? You were just fine. Constantly studying, not sleeping and barely eating? Yes, you did that, but you didn't let your worries and nightmares take a hold. And look at your scores, straight O's. Not even your Aunt Hermione did that well on her OWL's, and that's saying somethig._

_Hold in there, and get some studying in over this break. Hopefully we'll see you over Spring break. Everyone send their love and says 'Happy Christmas.'_

_Love You,_

_Mum_

I grinned and felt my eyes water but forced it back. Instead, I focused on the other things in the letter. Mum knew how I felt about Teddy, huh? It would, I realized, make all her little looks, hints and jokes seem to make more sense. I wondered for a moment if Dad or the boys knew, but then realized that as Teddy was not yet ten feet under, this was unlikely.

And that she could remember when my relationship with my previous role model and favorite cousin went down the drain? That impressed me far more than I would ever let Mum know.

Because even I had a hard time remembering back to that exact moment, to me it seemed to now be a stream of events, closely linked together.

Victoire graduates Hogwarts.

Victoire and Teddy move in together.

Victoire realizes she doesn't like how much time Teddy spends with me over the summer.

Victoire realizes I like Teddy more than friends.

Victoire attacksme in front of Dom and Roxy, and accuses them of the same.

Victoire convinces everyone that we're terrible teenagers who lie to make her look bad.

Victoire and Teddy start their perfect lives together.

I like to refer to this chain of events as the "Victoire Victory Years," as they all happen in mildly close succession after the first one. And yes, The last five all happen when I'm thirteen. Mildly traumatic? I think yes.

The good news? The VVY only served to make Dom, Roxy, Rose and I closer than any other group of cousins I've ever seen.

Alise McKinnon's warbled singing from the bathroom reminded me that I ought to finish that Potions essay so I wouldn't have to work on it on Christmas day. With a sigh I picked up my quill and set to work on finishing the last few paragraphs of my essay while counting down the hours to Christmas, the hours till the rest of my extended family would realize I wouldn't be at the Burrow for Christmas.

Prepare for an onslaught of angry letters proclaiming why I should've come home for Christmas. Joy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I woke up, my clock blinking a lazy eleven am. I sighed and rolled over, planning on wasting another hour sleeping before I realized what day it was. Christmas. Excitement rushed through me, followed by a slight sense of nostalgia and sadness at what I was missing back at home.

James would've woken up Al and I at six in the morning, and then we all would've woken up Mum and Dad by barging into their room banging pots and pans and jumping on their bed. Then Dad would've made us a breakfast of traditional "ornament" shaped chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream on top and a glass of milk. Then we all would sit around the tree and rip open gifts from each other and friends, meeting up with the extended family for lunch and dinner.

Okay, so I wasn't so sad about missing out on the lunch and dinner part, because honestly, I got my fill of drama from my peers at Hogwarts. I didn't need it from my family as well. But alas, drama came with every large family gathering.

I smiled as a tawny owl, my dad's, flew in the window with a package. In it were carefully wrapped pancakes and a bottle of milk. These were accompanied by a picture, obviously taken early this morning, of my tired family, most of whom were sporting some degree of bed head. On it they had all signed the photo with variations of 'Love you!' and 'Miss you!' I sighed and pulled out my camera, running a brush through my hair before snapping a picture of myself and grabbing a muggle pen, the fastest thing at the time.

_Love you all, too. Miss you, Merry Christmas. Tell everyone the same!_

_Love,_

_Lily_

After scribbling the message on the back of the photo, I put it in an envelope and gave it back to Dad's owl. It felt unreal, not celebrating Christmas morning with my parents and brothers. Though they could be bloody annoying, I loved them all the same.

I ate my pancakes slowly, savoring the taste of home and family. Then I began opening my presents.

Mum and Dad got me a new photo book full of pictures of our family, and the last few pages were filled with photos from last night, captions scribbled underneath. I grinned at a picture of James and Al in the camera making faces.

Al and James sent me a portable pensive with a bunch of memories. I smiled, they knew me too well. Grandmum Weasley sent me a big purple sweater with a L on it with a bunch of fudge and cookies. My aunts and uncles bought me various article of clothing, books and school supplies. Scorp got me a singing Christmas card. Hugo and Rose chipped in to get me some Honeydukes candy. Victoire didn't get me anything, surprise surprise. Teddy sent me an adorable teddy bear and a short yet sweet letter.

I spent the remainder of my morning reading a new book that Sarah had sent me, along with a letter from Alice, her younger sister by nine months who was away at an American school for the year, who was another one of my best friends.

As the day goes on, there is the predicted onslaught of letters asking why I didn't come home, of which I only bother sending one letter back to everyone, explaining the school work thing.

I spent the rest of my day down at Hagrid's with Fang and a few new animals Hagrid had brought in for lessons after Christmas. Care of Magical Creatures was undoubtedly my favorite class, and I as proud of my grades in it. It was no surprise to me that I had no homework or make up work for the class over Christmas, though it was more of a disappointment than anything. I'd rather do a research project for Care of Magical Creatures than read a chapter out of the textbook for any other subject.

Boxing Day started in much of the same fashion for me, lazing about and generally not doing anything. So, imagine my surprise when Sarah and Alice Longbottom are suddenly at our dorm's door, grinning at me. I freeze for a second before we all screech and I'm smothered by their hugs.

"What're you doing here?" I said, ecstatic and grinning like a fool.

Alice waved a piece of fancy looking paper in my face with a mocking grin. I snatched it from her.

"The Ministry Ball?" I said, and they both nodded energetically.

"You're invited, we're invited, everyone who's anyone is invited!" Sarah said, mocking her younger sister slightly. Alice simply laughed and stuck out her tongue.

"We're going," Alice said, in such a matter of fact way I decided it might be better not to question her.

In mere moments I had been shoved into a dress, high heels and a sparkling bracelet was on my wrist. I simply raised an eyebrow at Alice's maniacal behavior, used to it after knowing her for fifteen years.

I quickly did my makeup, and simply pinned back a piece of my straight hair with a gorgeous diamond clip.

The clock soon showed that it was six o'clock, and time for us to leave. We flooed from Neville's office to the huge Ministry Ballroom. I was immediately picked up and twirled around by James, then by Al. As Mum and Dad rushed to hug and kiss and generally smother me in love, I caught a pair of eyes from across the room that flashed a familiar gold.

Teddy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The ballroom was decorated beautifully, with frosty silver floors that looked like ice, matching walls and a ceiling that looked like the night sky, reminiscent of the Great Hall. There were tables and chairs on the edges of the room, and faerie lights hovered in the air, casting their colored light on the glass.

It was straight from one of the muggle fairytales Aunt Hermione used to tell us.

But all my attention was drawn to the man across the room, with brown hair and brown eyes, which seemed all wrong in place of blue and gold.

Alice and Sarah seemed to notice this and dragged me slightly to the side.

"No moping after him tonight, okay?" Sarah said, and I nodded. It was hopeless, but I would try for them.

We twirled around, Alice latching onto Dirk Creevey while Sarah and I made up ridiculous dances, Rose, Dom and Roxy often joining us. The dinner was delicious, as was the huge cake afterwards.

At the end of the ball I bid farewell to Alice and Sarah, and agreed to spend a few days at home, flooing back with Rose, Dom and Roxy.

"You know," Teddy said, having successfully cornered me, "everyone was very disappointed that we didn't get to have you with us for Christmas Day celebrations." I mentally smacked myself. Of course he wouldn't have told me he was upset in the letter. It was so Teddy, and so frusturating.

"You should have been home with your family. With your siblings and cousins, aunts and uncles. With your mother and father, Lily! Goddammit, you get the perfect, complete loving family that I never got the chance to have and you throw it away! Do you know how many people never have gotten, and never will get what you have? And you _don't even care_!" I glared at this, my temper flaring.

"Listen, Teddy Remus Lupin. You know nothing about me. You can act like you still do, like I'm still the three year old that hung onto you and cried whenever you had to go off to Hogwarts. But I'm _not_. I'm older, and make my own decisions now. I have a life outside of my family and you. And I haven't seen you in forever. You made your choices in full knowledge of what it meant to me. I made mine. Family might be some big thing for you, and that's fine Teddy, but it's not like you never had anyone. You're upbringing was nothing like my Dad's. You had your grandmother, my mum, dad, all the aunts and uncles, Grandmum, Grandpa. You had tons of younger "cousins" who looked up to you and loved you. You had tons of friends at school, you were popular and loved by everyone, you were the epitome of loved.

"I wasn't. Yes, you've had a couple of pages with the paparazzi, but nothing like I've had to go through. I had to be as smart as Aunt Hermione, and my namesake. They expect me to be as good a Quidditch player as Dad, as funny as Uncle George, as brave and strong as Mom. They expect me to be the best of my entire family. Do you know how much pressure that is? And all I wanted was to be a normal little girl. But no, I never could. I always had to be Little Miss Perfect. Godric, and when I finally came home from Hogwarts I thought I could finally be myself for a bit. But no, I had to be this perfect little girl, even for them! And when I'm not, when I finally realize that I have a right to be myself and have my own personality, everyone is shocked, disappointed and angry. To the paparazzi, all of a sudden I'm the odd child out of the Potters. No, they accept that James is a Quidditch star and a player. They accept that Al is a Slytherin, friends with a Malfoy and "dark, brooding and mysterious," as the magazines put it. _Psh, more like mental and emotionally sensitive nut case. _

"But no, they expected that I would always be a perfect little marionette for them to string around. Never again." I told Teddy, my eyes glinting. I would never go back to that. I was done with being pushed around and used. He looked shocked, but it was about time he got a wake up call on all he had missed since he had been completely monopolized by Victoire for the past years. Victoire rolled her eyes, moving towards Teddy at the center of the room and wrapping her arms around him.

"Here she goes again, Ted. Playing the princess, oh pity and woe is me. She's trying to get you wrapped around your finger again." Victoire cooed at him, pushing his head to face her ever so gently with one pale hand. I nearly gagged.

"No, Victoire." I said simply, turning around to face the door. The first time I'd spoken to my cousin in two years, "Here's _you _playing the princess. You've always been spoiled, and never could stand to share. You always had to have something better, something more than everyone else. When are you _ever_ going to grow up?" And with that I walked outside, into the dark and the snow.

Think that over, Teddy Lupin.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Okay, looking back on it, going outside in the middle of the night, in winter, in snow, was probably not the smartest thing to do. Actually, it's one of the stupidest options I had, besides running into the kitchen and melodramatically committing suicide by stabbing myself to death, then haunting Teddy and Victoire. Ahem. Not that I've ever considered such a thing.

It's morning now, and I can barely see the sun rising. I, being the idiot that I am, had ran off into the orchard/forest that surrounded our house. And ended up sitting in a tree, curled up in a ball, scared out of my wits. I used the phrase "Bloody Hell" a good few times during the night,while tripping over roots and grass and rocks, hearing animal noises (which drove me up the tree) and being so cold that I couldn't feel my legs. Because me being the idiot I am, left my wand inside the Burrow.

"LILY!" I never thought I would be so happy to hear James' voice.

"JAMES!" I screamed back, my voice hoarse and crackling. I was sure to be sick. We kept up the marco-polo routine until he finally found me, and helped me down from the tree, wrapping me in a blanket he conjured and helping me stumble back to the Burrow. The embarrassment was slowly settling in along our walk. Godric, why did I do something so stupid?

Dad came into view a few seconds later, and let out blue spark with his wand. He ran towards us, and hugged me tightly.

"God Lils," He murmured into my hair. I could feel his tears dripping from his cheek onto the top of my head, causing my eyes to water. "I was so worried." I clutched onto him as he carried me inside and plopped me down on the couch, starting the fire in the fireplace, magicking me into a pair of warm pajamas and piling blankets on top of me. Rose rushed in the room, hot tea and crumpets, immediately giving me a warm cup and insisting that I drink it.

I could hear James shuffling what sounded like the whole Weasley-Potter clan so they wouldn't come in the room. He knew me too well. Crowds were the last thing I needed. Mum rushed in moments later, and nearly tackled me in a hug. Just in time for my sniffling, coughing, sneezing, throat, ear and head aches to begin. I guess, in retrospect, I kind of deserved it.

Though I had rounds of five visitors at a time throughout the day, not once did I see Teddy or Victoire.

We all were going back to Hogwarts tomorrow, and once again, I didn't want to leave. The past week, besides me being sick, had been wonderful. We had relaxed and read Beedle's tales at night (of which Babbity Rabbity and Her Cackling Stump was, and always had been, my favorite.) We would sleep in in the mornings, then Dad would make a huge breakfast which I would run off an hour later.

Lunch would be light, usually homemade sandwiches and lemonade. After that James would either start a Quidditch game, work on homework, or bug anyone and everyone in the house. Al would disappear into his room if we weren't playing quidditch. I would read a book or write letters to Alice and Sarah. Dad would have gone into work right after breakfast, and get home right before dinner. We would eat dinner and hang out downstairs, playing family games and talking. Sometimes the Weasley-Granger branch would join us. Usually we would go to bed around ten, occasionally having a spot of something sweet beforehand.

Mum had made us pack yesterday, and she had slipped a photo album full of pictures we had all taken of our family from after the ball, when I had come home. With the album, a blanket Mum had quilted after taking some quilting classes, and a paper bag that I knew held cookies and pies with a few notes. Mum knew how homesick I got at times.

The doorbell rang. We were all lounging in the family room, fire going.

"I vote James!" I yelled at the same time

"I vote Lily!" (James)

"I vote Al!" (Dad)

"I vote Harry!" (Mum)

"I vote James!" (Al)

I snickered as James, glaring at us all and mumbling under his breathe, left the room to get the door. I could barely hear voices, speaking in soft tones. James came back in, looking a bit confused and ruffled. We all looked up at him.

"Someones here to see you Lils." He told me. I looked at him for an explanation as to who, but he gave me none. I reluctantly got up and walked to the door, to find none other than Teddy Lupin waiting there awkwardly. Hair an ashen black, eyes the same color, skin pale and dark circles under his eyes.

"Will you take a walk with me?" He asked, his voice hoarse and cracking. I looked at him, a bit scared. He looked like he had gone over the edge. I nodded, deciding someone would hear my scream if he tried to kill me or something. I'm such a good, trusting person, not. With that, I took off walking into the orchard (on the trail this time) without a backwards glance to see if he were following me.

After five minutes of silence, he spoke again.

"I'm sorry." Not good enough, buddy. "I really shouldn't have said any of that. I had no business in the first place, and you were right. I don't know you anymore. And while I'd like to say it's completely one person's fault, I think we both know that we both had a part in that. I knew all along that you and Victoire had some feud or squabble, but I abandoned any attempt to solve it long ago, I wish you could both be fine with each other, be a family. But I know that's not going to happen. I have no idea what you did, or what she did-" I cut him off, my temper getting the best of me.

"That's right, though. You have. **No. Bloody. Idea. **She was terrible to me, Teddy. She completely killed my childhood views on people being good," I told him. He still looked a bit lost, and with a sigh he continued as if I had never interrupted.

"But, I knew that by having things be serious with her, and letting it continue, I was choosing her over you in this … fight. And it was wrong, Lily. I'll fully admit it. I should have chosen you. Because you needed me more, I should have put our friendship first, and put off Vic and my romantic interests. I should have talked to you first, should've gotten your story. Which is what I'm trying to do now. And I swear that from now on, if I am ever going to make a big step in my life that I will tell you first. No, you won't be making any decisions in it, but you will at least know beforehand. And I'm just hoping that maybe you'll give me a second chance in being part of your life, Lils. I didn't realize how much I've missed out in the past three years. What you said to me yesterday really put everything in perspective. Can you give me a chance?" I took in a deep breathe as we stopped and took a seat on a rock that was a few feet off the ground.

"Teddy, I can try. I'm not going to make promises or anything like that, because I don't want to break them. And it's nice that you want to tell me what will be going on before you do it, but I'm not going to do that, either. You can, if you want to, but I don't want someone breathing down my neck and watching me every second. I have brothers for that. And, Teddy, I will give you another chance. But I need you to acknowledge that I will not be kind, respect, or stand being around Victoire. If she's around, I'm not. We don't talk about her. That's one thing that I just can't compromise on." He was bloody _shining _when I looked up at him. His skin was glowing and his hair was this bright gold and his eyes were the same color. I was then tackled into a hug.

When he pulled away his skin was a normal tan, eyes a normal sea green and hair a bright turquoise, adorably hanging into his eyes. No! NOT adorably, not at all. Nu-huh. Nope. Nada. Oh, who am I kidding?

Teddy, why do you do this to me?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Teddy stuck around the rest of the day. We played gobstones, Quidditch with James and Al, and ate a dinner of leftovers. Teddy stayed by me throughout it all, keeping up a stream of easy chatter about his Auror job, and how night shifts were so much more interesting than ones during the day.

We were all completely exhausted after dinner, so everyone sat around the living room, Mum and Dad on the couch, James and Al splayed across the floor in front of the fireplace and Teddy and I on the love seat. We were wrapped in a blanket and I was happily cuddled into his side, my head resting on his shoulder. Mum caught my eye with a knowing smile. I blushed slightly, but the small smile on my face couldn't be hidden even if I tried.

When, late at night, Teddy finally had to leave, a twinge of sadness ran through my mind. When I was back at Hogwarts, was everything going to go down the drain? Would Teddy and Victoire be engaged next I saw him? Would all this be forgotten? It terrified me.

We were on the porch, everyone else already having had said goodbye. He gave me a huge huge and kissed my cheek before apparating away. I was glad, it meant he didn't get to see the blush that painted my cheeks, or the fear in my eyes.

I didn't see Teddy at the platform the next morning, though it was possible he was lost somewhere in the crowd of Weasleys that dominated the South section of the platform. Dad gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, telling me to behave and do my best. Uncle Ron and Uncle George told me to wreak havoc, Aunt Hermione told me not to, and to work hard. Mum hugged me for a bit and kissed my forehead.

"Be happy," she told me, and then I had to hop into the compartment already containing my stuff. The train took off. I was going back.

Alice and Sarah quickly found me, and we were soon joined by Hugo as well. We all had a great time, eating candy from the trolley and going through magazines, trading Chocolate Frog Cards and playing with Hugo's new Exploding Snap card deck.

We were halfway there, and Hugo has just had his eyebrows singed off when Sean Finnegan knocked on our compartment door. Sean was a school and family friend, he was charismatic and nice, and absolutely gorgeous. With tan skin, dark brown hair and green eyes he was quite popular with the girls.

He joined us in mocking Hugo, and we all fell into easy conversation.

The first few weeks back passed quickly, and I quickly fell into a routine of hanging out with Sean. At first it was walking around the lake, then a eating a picnic dinner at the edge of the forest, one night it was filling out star charts in the Astronomy tower. My favorite had been climbing to the top of the Quidditch stands. He fashioned a safety mechanism that muggles used to climb rocks indoors. I found it quite odd, but sufficient. I was great, we climbed up from the inside of the structure and ended at the top tower that connects two different sections, where we sat, rested and watched the Ravenclaws practice. Okay, maybe it would've been slightly more romantic if I could've shut up my inner quidditch player and stopped my spying.

Somewhere along the way we fell into a relationship, somewhere in between seriously dating and being boyfriend/girlfriend. It worked for us. He was getting over a painful breakup with his longtime girlfriend, Alyssa Davies, and he could tell I was emotionally attached/involved with someone else.

And he was just so _sweet_. And he was already really good friends with Hugo, so our group sat around each other before, anyways. Now he just sat closer to me, occasionally held my hand, and hugged me more, and sometimes carried my bag to classes for me. Something I would not protest to constantly like I'd heard lots of girls do. When I did refuse to let him grab my bag, just to be polite and change things up, he'd still take it. It went like this: he'd offer, I'd decline, and then he'd grab my bag and go sprinting down the hall with it. He was adorable, and a good distraction.

When he took me to Hogsmead, it was wonderful. We went to W.W.W.'s first, and I said hello to Uncle George. Then we went to Honeydukes After that, we went to Madam Puddifoot's. It's a cute little place, and we grabbed some tea and scones. After that we walked down and saw the Shrieking Shack, and looked at all the owls at the Post Office before grabbing dinner and Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. Then, he walked me back to the bottom of the girls' staircase and hugged me goodnight.

It was, truth be told, the kind of relationship I had dreamed of when I was younger. The kind of relationship my parents had told us they had at Hogwarts for a few precious months. And I finally understood how, when they retold it, they had a hint of longing and bittersweet memories in their voice. Because it was seemingly perfect.

"C'mon Lils, he can't be that perfect! Haven't you two ever had a fight? It's been four bloody months!" Alice exclaimed, we were having a girl's night in the Room of Requirement. I grinned smugly.

"Nope, Nada, None." I told her, still grinning like an idiot. Next week we were to go home for Easter Break, and I was not looking forward to introducing Sean to my parents as my _.._. not quite official boyfriend? Titles were never good when it came to fame. It meant all sorts of magazine articles nad rumors. However, I was happy to see Al and James again. Of course, going back would mean seeing Teddy and Victoire, but I had gotten time to clear my head, get my priorities straight.

Teddy was planning on proposing to Victoire sometime in the next few months. A wedding would follow quickly, most likely a summer one. Victoire would rush it together, not wanting to lose Teddy. She would get pregnant over their honeymoon, and would have many many children in the years that followed.

By the time I was out of Hogwarts, they would be married and have one child, another on the way. I could see it all, playing like a story in my mind. And I would never have a chance, and really, looking back now, I never _did _have a chance. No one ever did. During Teddy's fourth year, I found out that one of his best friends, Amilie Harley, was in love with him. Victoire didn't let anything come of it, instead publicly humiliating her and making her look stupid. Amilie transferred to Salem Academy.

When Victoire found out that I loved Teddy, it had been Christmas. Christmas Eve, to be specific. We were having a small party. I was thirteen, Roxy was fourteen, Dom was fifteen and Victoire was twenty-one. Teddy was twenty-two.

_**Then**_

_Roxy, Dom and were hanging out and dancing with the Scamander twins, laughing and talking, enjoying our winter break before we would have to go back to Hogwarts and begin preparing for exams._

_Out of nowhere, Victoire walked up to us and dug her talons into my arm. She dragged me outside, Roxy and Dom hurrying after us. She snarled at me and swung her open palm at my face. I would've been slapped across the face if Dom hadn't had the foresight to pull me back. I staggered backwards in shock and confusion, attempting to find even footing. Up till this night, Victoire had been one of my favorite cousins, and a major role model._

"_You bitch," Victoire said, her voice like a snake, "you backstabbing, traitorous little whore. You're trying to steal him from me!" She accused._

"_Vic, calm down!" Roxy said, shock making her voice shoot up sharply at the end. _

"_Did you know?" Victoire turned to Dom, "that she's in love with him? Did you know that this little girl is after my boyfriend? Well he's __**mine**__." Dom looked at Victoire incredulously, more than slightly pissed off by her sister's behavior._

"_Vic, are you talking about Teddy?" Roxy said,to which Victoire simply glowered._

"_Well of course I am, who else would I be talking about?" She hissed angrily._

"_Yeah," I spoke up, "Yeah, I love him. But he has no clue, Vic. And I don't intend to tell him," I reassured her. She hissed at me._

"_You think I would care if you did? I mean, he would obviously choose me over you. I'm older, more beautiful by far, smarter, richer. I have a stable, normal family. I am so obviously better." Tears __prickled at the corners of my eyes, and I fought to hold them back. Being stabbed in the back was so much more painful than anyone ever told you. _

"_I've never really liked you, you know. I always thought you were an annoying, ugly little brat. You followed Teddy and I, interrupting the time we had together. You wormed your way into his heart and mind and tried to corrupt him. You're sick, you know that? And I don't even know why you didn't give up right away, commit suicide if you loved him, love him, that much. You, with your ugly frizzy red hair, watery, squinty muddy-blue eyes. No figure at all. Pasty skin, contaminated by freckles. I mean, really. What chance did you stand against me? You're just a stupid little girl." At the end Victoire turned to Roxy and sneered._

"_The same thing applies to you, filthy brat." Roxy gaped as Victoire sashayed inside._

_When Roxy started crying, I lost it. I may look just like my mother, and be a lot like my grandmother and namesake, but I have both their tempers combined._

_I marched right into the house, where it was just the family and closest friends. Victoire was sitting on Teddy's lap, kissing him. I, tear stained, shoes and dress splattered with mud, marched up to Victoire, all eyes on me. I yanked her by her shirt, right off Teddy and onto the floor._

"_You're a no good, manipulative, backstabbing bitch." I turned her own words back around. "I hate you. And I hope you never forget this. I HATE YOU. You can go and do whatever you'd like in life, but know I'll always be there hoping you fail." The whole room was in shock, and I quickly slid out the door and back to Dom and Roxy._

**Now**

So, yeah. I mean, what can you really say to that? Not much. Even now, it hurts when I think about it. Because up till then, Victoire had been my role model. Teddy had been my best friend, yes, my knight in shining armor, my hero. But, Victoire was a girl, she was related to me, and she had always been a bit farther away, off, from me. Not as close and alike to me. So, I had idolized her. My image of Victoire shattered that night.

I was young, I was stupid, I had looked up to her, and she had broken me down. She broke me down and built herself up.

It had caused a huge rift in the family, though no one really knew what we were fighting over. The worst part, though, (for me) was when Teddy essentially chose Victoire. All it had taken was one look, it was the day before we were to go back to Hogwarts, and Victoire and Teddy were wrapped in each others arms, kissing and whispering sweet nothings.

That's when Victoire and I started mutually ignoring each other. That's when Teddy drifted away from me. That's the moment I'll always go back to when I hear the words _pain _or _heartbreak_. It's the moment everything you've ever known about the world comes to a climax and it all falls apart, burns to the ground, and you see that it was all a lie.

So it's the moment I go back to when I have to explain to Sarah and Alice what I'm doing, being with Sean. I try and tell them how no matter what, the boy I love won't be mine. How he never was mine to begin with.

So, I chose the boy who never hurt me, never broke me. Who showed kindness and care to me. To the boy who's socially acceptable for me to be with. I chose a boy who wouldn't break my family apart. Tough on me, tough on my heart. I hoped, one day looking back, that this choice will have been good. Will have been right.

Can you leave my heart, Teddy Lupin?


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

It's really hot. Dad says the Ministry is trying to undo a heating charm gone wrong. It's about 95 degrees Fahrenheit outside, and I've heard it's like that all over Europe. It's Easter break, but it feels more like summer.

Sean went to his place to drop off his stuff, he'll be back for lunch tomorrow. That's when my brothers are coming over.

After saying hi to Mum and Dad (who had come home from work early,) I ran upstairs and dropped all my bags in my room, things scattering across the floor. I was exhausted, and fell asleep right after dinner that night.

**The next day**

After a chilly shower to cool me down a bit after a quick morning run, I was faced with a dilemma. Dad was convinced I should never wear anything short, light, or low cut. As were James and Al. But it was so bloody hot!

I settled on short jean shorts, a loose white v-neck t-shirt and a black fedora. I smeared purple eyeshadow, and a bit of eyeliner and mascara on. Then, a bit of bright red lipstick. Shoes...which shoes? A pair of candy apple red pumps that Dom had given me for my last birthday. It was awful tempting to wear them, but...I gave in, slipping them on and grinning smugly at how they made my legs look. Victoire, miss no-exercise priss, didn't have legs like I did.

I heard two loud snaps of people apparating and my brothers' arguing. I ran down the stairs, glad I was a natural in heels. I flew into James and hugged him tightly before doing the same to Al. They laughed.

"Nice heels, baby sis," James said with a wink, being the most laid back. Dad and Al looked like they wanted to say something, but were silenced by a look from Mum. There was a knock on the door. I gave them all a look and hissed a quick

"Behave!" before running to get the door. I opened it and greeted my boyfriend.

"Sean!" I threw my arms around him as he staggered back, laughing at my enthusiasm.

"Hey Lils," He greeted back, placing a quick kiss on my forehead. He kept an arm around my waist when we walked into the house.

"Dad, James, Al, Mum, this is Sean." I introduced a bit nervously. "Sean, this is my dad, my mum, and my brothers Albus and James." The guys all shook each others hands, and I'm pretty sure James was trying to break Sean's hand. Al was using a Slytherin glare on the poor boy, and Dad was polite, if a bit wary. Mum, on the other hand, gathered him in a big hug and told his she was very pleased to meet 'the boy who finally met Lily's expectations.' Now do you see why I try to keep my family at home, where they can't be seen? No matter where we are, who we're with, they_ will _find a way to embarrass me.

Sean just laughed and said he was glad to hear that he was up to Lily's expectations, and nudged me in the side, giving me a small grin. Mum nearly cooed at us with that exchange. We all flooed from there, to a small wizarding restaurant. It was extremely exclusive, and we got a table on the patio, which overlooked a vineyard.

We ordered drinks and food and began eating, with pauses for conversation randomly interspersed.

"So, Sean, what are you planning on doing when you graduate from Hogwarts?" Dad asked, seemingly interested.

"Well, I've been offered a spot on Puddlemere United's reserve team, but I am also considering a few other careers, like being an Auror or working at St. Mungos. Because, after all, You can't play the sport professionally forever." He said, rather professionally. Mum turned to me, finding the perfect way to corner me into answering her questioning that I had avoided for the past three years.

"Lily, darling, what was it you want to do, again? I'm afraid you never told me over Christmas." Mum gave me a conniving smile. I scowled before taking a deep breathe.

"I would like to work with dragons." I informed them all, "Uncle Charlie said I can work at his reserve for a month over the summer, and that he needs someone to take over soon anyways, says he's getting to old. And he mentioned that he likes the thought of it being a family run reserve eventually." James grinned.

"My little sister, the dragon wrangler. I like it." He laughed with a wink. I rolled my eyes at him.

"That can be awful dangerous, Lils." Dad told me, obviously not liking the idea. I rolled my eyes.

"Says the guy who was destroying Horcruxes at my age." I told him. He sighed. Al grinned at me and high fived me under the table. He was on my right, Sean on my left. James sat across from me, splitting up Mum and Dad on purpose. Dad was across from Al, Mum across from Sean.

"Anyways," Mum interrupted, "what's your favorite class, Sean?"

"Defense or Herbology." He replied. "I like learning all the spells and dueling, but I also really like being outside, and Professor Longbottom prefers teaching us on the grounds, so it's nice. A good change from being cooped up inside the classroom."

I knew my parents were scrutinizing my favorites against his.

"You have too many favorite classes to count Lils." James teased me. I grinned.

"Potions, Arithmancy, Astronomy, Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology." I recited. Everyone laughed at that.

"I never understood how someone can like a class." James said, in an amazed voice. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I liked History of Magic." Al bragged.

"That's only because you're a freak of nature, Al." I informed him.

Everyone grinned at that, excluding said freak. Everything had gone perfectly.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Sorry for the lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggg wait, but here it is!

**Chapter 7**

Spring break was always nice, but this one seemed to be dragging on too long. I couldn't wait to get back to Hogwarts and get school over with so I could be with the dragons. The "heatwave" still hadn't passed, and I was in my room with the fan on, laying on my bed in a tank top, pair of short shorts made of a soft, cottony fabric, with my hair messily down. I was flipping through encyclopedias, research books, educational books, basically any book I could get my hands on that said anything about dragons. I read books written by purebloods, half-bloods, muggle-borns, squibs, muggles, anyone. From all different points of view, from all different places. I was hungry for more knowledge. After all, the more knowledge I had, the more experience I could get out of my time at the reserve (sweet and precious as it already was) and then could get a better job faster when I got out of Hogwarts.

It was a relaxation day, Mum had gone with Aunt Hermione to the spa, Dad had gone off with James to look around Diagon Alley, and Albus was off with his newish girlfriend, Lacey. **(If you know who Lacey is, you are awesome!) **So, least to say, I was in no way expecting visitors. Especially ones who didn't even knock before entering my room.

"You know, I could have been changing or something." I told Teddy simply, not even looking up, but recognizing the heavy footsteps and faint smell of smoke that seemed to always accompany him home from his Auror missions. He stopped at the foot of my bed and picked up and flicked through the pages of one of the books.

"So, a dragon handler?" He said, no emotion. I nodded.

"Yep." Still flipping through more books, and moving onto the magazines.

"Why? Why that job, Lily? Perhaps because it gives you an excuse to go far away and never come home? Or because no one there needs to ever know who you _really_ are?" I sighed simply, closed a magazine and sat up.

"What are you _really _here for, Teddy? Because I know that's not it." I finally confronted him. He bit his lip, before sighing in defeat.

"I'm just not sure anymore." He said simply, slumping down next to me on my bed, putting his head in his hands.

"About what?" I asked.

"Everything." He mumbled something incoherent, "Life, my job, Andy, Victoire, you, everything!" He exclaimed. He was so stressed I felt bad.

I hesitantly rubbed his back. "It's gonna be fine, Ted." His muscles relaxing was my cue to keep rubbing his back. I settled into a more comfortable position, where I was sitting behind him. I continued to rub his back. "I'm sure everything will work itself out. I mean, someone is in charge of our lives and I'm sure they have a plan! Just relax. Maybe if you do, and clear your mind, you'll find answers and make good decisions."

He sighed, "Yes, but what if I know what I want, what everyone else wants, and still don't know. There's the easy route, and the hard route. It's tempting to go with what I want, just like it's tempting to take the easy route. But I don't know which is the _right thing to do_." I looked at him, a bit confused. He flopped back, putting his head in my lap. His blue eyes bored into mine as they shifted into gold, my hands weaved through blonde hair as it turned blue.

"I'm sure you'll do the right thing at the right time Teddy. And remember, if you're not happy, it won't be good for you, and if it isn't good for you, it isn't the right thing." I continued to comfort him.

He bit his lip for a second before opening his mouth to speak.

"Lily, Lils, its just not as simple as that. You wouldn't understand, it's so much more complicated. One decision effects so many people." He said simply. Teddy seemed to be nervous, as he shifted his position again, this time laying next to me and pulling me next to him. I cuddled into his side and his arm snaked around me. He breathed in deeply, then slowly let it out. I rested my head on his chest, and he ran his free hand through my hair.

"I miss this, Lils." He told me. "When it would just be us, hours on end. When nothing was complicated or crazy. It was us, being who we really were, underneath all the walls and pretenses that were put up for the rest of the world. And I miss that more than anything." I smiled fondly at the memories.

When I was younger, he was _my_ Teddy. Destined from the start. Of course, he had been_ Victoire's_ Teddy far before he had ever been mine. Competing from the start, a memory I had relived many times in my pensive, my mother's memory of course, not my own.

_My mother had just returned home from St. Mungos, and most of the family was restricted from arriving until the next day. However, Teddy had begged Harry to let him see the 'new baby'. Ginny beamed as the ten year old ran into the room, looking at the red faced, crying baby. She had a tuft of red-blond hair, and when he eyes squinted open for a moment, they were a crystalline blue. He smiled and hesitantly accepted the baby from Ginny. _

"_Her name's Lily. Lily Luna Potter." Ginny spoke quietly. _

"_Hey little Lily Luna." Baby Lily stopped crying for a moment to look up at the boy holding her, watching with interest as his eyes and hair changed. She shrieked loudly as his hair turned an electric blue and his eyes a bright gold. He stopped them there, and he smiled at him. "Hey Lils. I'm Teddy." She smiled, yawned, and fell asleep in her new friend's arms. _

It was the next day when Victoire was there that the competition really began. I only wanted Teddy, according to Mum, and Victoire wanted all of Teddy's attention and positively hated me, calling me a 'stupid, sniveling, whiny, smelly, loud midget'. She was such a nice little girl. Not.

It only got worse from there.

_Teddy was fourteen, and it was the summer before his fourth year. Victoire was thirteen, and wearing makeup, low-cut shirts, skirt and heels. I was only four, and wanted all the time with him I could before he left me again. _

_He was playing with me, swimming in the pond in the back of our yard. I giggled and shrieked as he would disappear under the water to appear behind me, splash me and pull me under for a second. I heard a high, annoying voice as he popped up in front of me. _

"_Ted? Where are you, Ted?" She came into the clearing area around the pond. Her shiny pale blonde hair was perfect, and her skin was pale and flawless. I glowered. He grinned at her _

"_Hey, Tori." It was what she was called at school, apparently. He swam to the shore and pulled himself out, onto the tiny dock. I was left behind, forgotten. I swam up and got out, too. I was pale, covered in freckles. My hair was dark red, straight and plastered to my back and bangs stuck to my forehead. She gave me a sneer as she started obviously flirting with Teddy. I tugged on his arm._

"_Teddy, you promised to swim with me until lunch." He shrugged me off. Victoire smirked._

"_No, Ted, stay here. I'll join you." She pulled of her shirt and skirt to reveal and extremely racy bikini that showed off her curves. He stared at her. They climbed into the water and started splashing each other, playing games like Marco Polo and things. I swam on my own, holding back tears. I finally got out and sat on the dock, wrapped in my towel. I witnessed their first kiss there in that pond. It broke my heart._

As we got older, it continued down that path. Teddy and my time together lessened more and more by each summer. And I guess we had finally gotten to the point where he realized it, but I wouldn't get my hopes up because, just like always, Victoire would intervene and steal Teddy away.

"I do too, Teddy." I whispered. He looked over at me and made a move toward me. Our foreheads were almost touching, and then, he kissed me.

It was better than I had ever dreamed, it was perfection at it's greatest. And the feeling of his lips on mine was gone as soon as it had been there. The was a crack, and I opened my eyes. Teddy was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm soooooo sorry. This is really just a filler but, still. Reviews will prompt me to update!**

**Chapter 8**

A war was waging, the sides raging, fighting with fire and ice. They took turns speaking against their oppositions and took pride in their truthful misconceptions. My life was a tumbling, tearing mess, and it felt like I had never gotten rest.

How funny, that I never really saw what was going on, never realized the symptoms, recognized the signs. Tiny cracks and tears in my being and life that I completely missed, never spotted. Until now.

I sat up in a tree in the backyard, watching the setting sun glint on the pond's crystal waters. Tear tracks were sure to stain my flushed cheeks, my eyes certainly swollen and red.

He kissed me, then left me. I hadn't seen him since. I had gone back to school, and broken it off with Sean. He had been pissed off and badmouthing me ever since, but the people who really mattered knew that it was for a good reason. It just wasn't right for me to be in a relationship with him where I didn't feel for him the same way her felt for me, not even remotely. Sarah had gotten me to spill about everything, and sympathized with me. Sarah Longbottom was my long time best friend, and who new how much of a bitch Victoire was almost as well as I did. We talked and talked, mainly about summer and NEWT's. Sarah was interning at St. Mungos over the summer, something she said paled drasticaly next to working at a dragon reserve.

"I mean, you get to work with a bunch of strong, hot, sweaty guys wrangling dragons in a foreign place, not to mention that you've shown me pictures of the huge pool! And you'll get to have a barbeque and dance and have fun every Friday!" Sarah pouted. "While I will be changing bed pans, signing papers, looking over charts and passing out band-aids." I giggled at her description.

"If it's any comfort to you, Charlie would never let me get with any of the guys, and most of them have girlfriends or wives back home anyways. And it's not really this summer I'm looking forward to, it's getting out of this place!" I exclaimed, gesturing to the room around us, but really insinuating to Hogwarts as a whole. "I just want to escape! I can go away and control who I see, how often I see them, all of that! And best of all, Teddy and Victoire can disappear from my life, essentially."

"But do you really want him to disappear?" She asked me, right as an owl flew in, holding it's leg out to me. It was Dom's, I recognized.

_Lily,_

_I know that this hurts, and he didn't want me to tell you, but I figure its better you hear it first and from a family member than later and from a magazine or something. Teddy and Vic are engaged. I'm sorry, Lily._

_Love, _

_Dom_

My hands trembled for a second, eyes burning and threatening to spill tears. I took a deep breathe and crumpled the letter, then burning it.

"Yes, Sarah. I_ do_ really want him to disappear."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Just wanted to put it out there that I'm looking for a beta on this story :)

Disclaimed: I don't own HP.

**Chapter 9**

What was my mother thinking? Making me go to Victoire and Teddy's engagement party? Was the woman mad?

The invitations had been sent out a week after I had gotten the letter from Dom. They were perfect, with a stiff cream backing, elegant silver script and pink flower on vines crawling along the invitation's edges. And I hated them.

_You are cordially invited to the Engagement party of_

_Victoire Weasley & Teddy Lupin_

_On June 2nd, at Shell Cottage._

_Please RSVP to Fleur Weasley_

I sneered at the offending piece of paper. Mum had pulled Hugo and I out of school for the Friday so we could go to the party that night. I didn't see why it was necessary for me to go. Yet I was stilled pulled out of school early (when I could have been studying for my NEWT's.)Instead, I was forced into a pink dress (courtesy of Victoire's "theme" that she requested everyone follow. Girls in pink, guys in silver,) with my feet shoved into two sizes to small stilettos, and dragged along to some fancy-schmancy ballroom place with literally hundreds of people there. And with such a formal look to it that I had a feeling the waiters would not allow underage drinking.

I grimaced at the dress I was in. It was a pale pink, with silver detail on the bodice. My shoes were a matching silver. I sighed, pulling on yet another strand of hair and pinning it with a silver bobby pin into the intricate updo on my head, several red curls artfully falling around my face. I tapped my hair twice and waved my wand, to set my hair and makeup in place.

And maybe it's just coincidence that when Victoire makes a speech she compares their love to Cinderella, a muggle fairy tale. And Dom and I share knowing glances when she describes the evil step-sisters, and it's obvious that she sees us as them. As Dom and Teddy have had a few flings, and she knew I love, no, lov_ed_, him. Al brought Lacey, and they're engaged even though you can tell both of them are still broken. Al, his heart from his friend/ex girlfriend that he loved forever, that just couldn't love him as much as his best friend. And she by her elder sisters, who hated her more than anyone in the world and blamed their parents' recent deaths on Lacey.

Roxy joined Dom and I right after Victoire's speech. "They're disgusting together. Its' just wrong. She's too perfect and bitchy and prissy. Teddy's nice, down to earth, funny, her opposite." Dom and I just nodded. Then the music got going, and really, who wastes a good night of dancing? Not us.

So we danced, and kept away from Victoire and Teddy. We giggled and sipped champagne (that Dom had flirted out of a waiter,) and may have gotten a little tipsy. And suddenly Victoire (who must have been a bit tipsy herself) came over and was yelling accusations and insults at all three of us and Rose, who had recently joined Roxy, Dom and I. And when she was finally out of words to say, and everyone was staring to see our responses, Roxy stormed out, Dom burst into tears and I started laughing hysterically. When I finally got over my giggled bout I managed to gasp out,

"You're-gasp-so-gasp-cold!" Before bursting into another giggle fit.

"What the hell do you mean?" the blonde screamed at me. I smiled serenely at her, a bit out of my mind by this point.

"You try so hard to be perfect and normal and sweet, just to disguise all the bitterness, hatred and jealousy in your icy heart. Because for such a pretty girl, Victoire, you're actually awful ugly." She gaped at me, Teddy fought through the crowd to pull her into his chest.

"What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?" He snarled at me. I smiled at him, my eyes widening innocently.

"Me? I'm showing everyone what a miserable bitch Victoire Weasley is, has been, and always will be. Because for anyone who doesn't know, Victoire hates all her cousins, as well as her sister and brother. She wants what she can't have, and she wants to take things and make it so other people can't have them. And she does it because she's insecure, spoiled and a genuinely bad person. And I, Lily Luna Potter, pity Victoire Weasley." He glared at me.

"No, you're the bad person, Lily. You're the jealous, bitter one."

"Oh no, Teddy. I'm perfectly content being alone, having nothing. Something Victoire can never be like." And I grabbed Dom's hand, and Roxy link onto Dom, and Rose linked onto Roxy and we apparated away.

We ended up in the orchard, next to Shell Cottage. Perhaps it was masochistic, perhaps it was fate. We stumbled through the trees for a bit before coming across the familiar rickety old tree house. The four of us had built it ourselves before our Hogwarts days. It wasn't particularly beautiful, or warm, but it was sturdy, secret, and protected by the strength of young children's untrained, uncontrolled, pure magic. We could not be found, hurt, or in any way compromised while within ten yards of the tree house. It was a sort of Room of Requirement, giving us protection and secrecy.

We clambered up, jumping from branch to branch before slipping in between a few loose panels that worked as a secret entrance. We settled down inside, I lit the candles scattered on tables and hung from the ceiling while Roxy dug up pillows and blankets from a trunk in the corner of the room, Rose tapped on the wireless in the corner putting on a soft station, and Dom Accio'd some food and hot chocolate. We settled down, cuddling up to each other while quietly listening to the music and sipping our hot chocolate.

"I used to wonder why she hated the four of us so much." Rose broke the silence, her quiet voice reverberating through the chilly night air, starlight filtering through the cracks in the ceiling. The candles had long been blown out, hot chocolate long ran dry. "Then I looked around a bit, drug up old newspapers and magazines. You wouldn't believe it." Dom broke in here.

"She was all over the magazines, I know that Rose. She was front page headliners all over the world, she was the first post-war generation Weasley baby." Rose nodded.

"Then I looked farther, to when each of us was born. You see, Victoire stayed in the spotlight as this perfect little girl, until Dom came. Dom, you were unique, you had character, they called it "Dominique Spunk" or something like that. You weren't perfect, but they loved you more than even Victoire, because you were you, not some robot. Then came me, and I was the quiet, shy, sweet and shockingly smart one, and the first born of Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, 3/4's of the "Golden Trio". I was almost as good as it was going to get in terms of the daughters of the Potter/Weasley clan. They thought I was the end, especially when Ginny had Al, saying she was cursed to not have a daughter. The public faced the depressing thought that they wouldn't be getting a Potter daughter. Then you came along. A miracle.

"And everyone fell in love with you, Lily. _Everyone!_ They loved your dark red hair, they loved how you were stubborn and adorable, how you were fiery and so much like your late grandmother. You were their little angel, you could do no wrong. And your rebellions just made them love you more. While Victoire was forced to act perfect, and realize she was just a front of the hope of recovery, you could just be you and be called perfect and angelic and beautiful and wonderful, and all these things. And she knew that you weren't a front for anything, she knew you were loved because of who you were. She knew we were all loved for who we were, not for anything we might represent. That's why she hated, well, hates, us." The rest of us nodded, processing it all.

"It makes sense." I finally spoke, as Roxy and Dom nodded along. "That would definitely match why she acts like she does."

"But it still doesn't excuse her behavior." Dom reaffirmed.

"No, there isn't any excuse to really, truly _hate_ someone." I agreed. "_I_ don't even hate Victoire." We all nodded, and fell quiet, staring at the stars and slowly falling asleep.

I know that some of us fell asleep thinking about boys, some about love, some about family and friends. I know I fell asleep thinking of nothing but nothing. Focusing on the relief that an empty abyss brought from this confusing, emotion ridden world.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I'm soooooooooooooo sorry :( I haven't updated in forever... I've been really busy with soccer :P Blah. And I just got braces :( I'm writing this for the people who've been bugging me to update, but I've hit writer's block for this story. Any prompts or suggestions or ideas of what you'd like to see would be helpful! I also just realized I had made two Longbottom girls Lily's best friends...Sarah and Alice are twins from here on.**

**Chapter 10**

I have never done Sarah and Alice Longbottom justice in my descriptions of their wonderful selves. They are the most gracious and loving and awesome friends.

Now, you might say this is coming a little out of the blue, but you just wait. They are the best friends I could have asked for.

Okay, so I finally escaped the hell hole that my home had become with nagging parents, family who wanted me to apologize, and my three best family friends who were, admittedly, getting to be a bit too much for me to handle. You can only take so much Weasley at once. Ah, Hogwarts. I never truly did appreciate how wonderful it was. Huge, empty hallways everywhere and unused rooms to sneak off to when people became overbearing, comfort food always waiting for you without scoldings of 'You won't be hungry for dinner if you eat now', and Quidditch.

Quidditch. You have no idea how refreshing it was to be told clearly and precisely what to do. To just go out there and give your all, let everything out. To have that sense that you are needed, and that you belong. The sense of friendship and fitting in that often accompanies the word 'team'. My teammates were the most awesome people I could count on in my life at that moment besides Alice. Our Captain, March Wood, was the most down to earth girl I had ever met, as long as you didn't mind that her Quidditch obsession rivaled her father's. March was our center Chaser. Then there was Marcy Quinn, a funny and personality filled 4th year who played left chaser. I played right chaser while Michael Chang and Mia Finnegan were our beaters. They were complete enemies off the field, which was rather amusing as Michael was a generally nice and funny person, and Mia was usually very gentle, kind and studious. They were both 5th years. Our keeper was Sarah, which was rather funny as most people saw her as more of the cheer leading type. She told them resolutely that the cheerleader title belonged to Alice in the Longbottom family.

Quidditch practice was scheduled every say of the week from six to eight pm, except on weekends when it ran from five to eight am. Normally I would have complained. I mean, how was I supposed to juggle NEWT work, a social life and that much quidditch all at once?

The answer was to basically not have a social life. Of course, every Sunday, Alice, Sarah and I would get together for a few hours and help each other with leftover homework before gossiping and giggling and letting all our worries and stress out.

Those few hours were what I lived on. It was so...nice. To just have two people not judge you, not be pushing you to go faster or throw harder, to to not be blamed or confronted with overwhelming problems that were impossible to solve.

No, with Alice and Sarah everything was so incredibly, relaxingly simple. The judgment went as far as if the rumor about Isabelle Zabini being pregnant was true, the pushing went only in the direction of 'You need to finish that Charms essay!', and the problems was either about: boys, teachers, other girls, Quidditch, or cheer leading. Simple and easy to solve. Stuff that I could deal with.

Well...deal with better than the complicated mess that was my life. Because I'm simply not very good at the whole advice thing. Since, you know, my life isn't exactly an example of 'perfect' and when I try and fix my own problems they tend to get even worse than they were before.

Which is why my new motto is 'forget'. Simple and to the point. Because, lets face it. The forget part of 'forgive and forget' is hard enough without having to forgive the bloody person on top of it. Which is why I keep myself so busy and make a point to ignore all letters from home and family (Howlers included. I've discovered that a very strong freezing charm will stop them from talking.)

It's quite convenient, in my opinion, for everyone involved. You see, I'll study hard, do well in Quidditch, ace my NEWTS and disappear after graduation to work with dragons; and the Potter-Weasley household will never have to see their disgrace of a relative (me) ever again.

And this plan would have been fail proof if not for two annoying little things. Number one, Hugo Weasley. Two? The Holyhead Harpies.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Okayyy, so I guess after writing Chapter 10 I got in a writing mood for this story so even though I'm still a bit lost as to where this is going(even though it's my story and I'm writing it O.o), I'm just going to write wherever my mind takes me at the moment. **

**Chapter 11**

_And this plan would have been fail proof if not for two annoying little things. Number one, Hugo Weasley. Two? The Holyhead Harpies. _

Okay, so even though I know the Harpies are the more interesting of the two (Hugo would kill me for ever even thinking that), I'll go in number order. Just to keep you waiting a bit, though it won't be for long as they actually came together.

So, as you all know, avoiding family was quite a big part in my plan. And it really shouldn't have been so difficult as this year is only had two relatives at Hogwarts. That's right, TWO! Do you know how long it's been since there was a reasonable amount of Weasley-Potter's in Hogwarts? FOREVER.

It would have been fine if it was only quite little Lucy, who I was actually okay with. But no. Hugo HAD to be in my year, house and most of my classes. If there's one thing that's important to Hugo Weasley, it's being surrounded by people that love him. That's why whenever you see him in the halls he's always flanked by his two best friends (Cameron Creevey and Lewis Lancashire), with a gaggle of their admirers right on their heels.

And of course we were our own little group when we first got to Hogwarts, but then he had his own friends and I had mine, and he suddenly became terrified of losing me as his cousin and friend. Now, this might seem out of the blue, but when we were younger Hugo and I had played in a pond near his house and I had almost drowned, which apparently gave him a constant need to protect me and keep me close. So all throughout our Hogwarts years I worked hard to squeeze Hugo somewhere into my life. And apparently he wasn't happy with my sudden family avoidance.

…...

"C'mon Lils, you can't just avoid me forever." Yeah? That's what he thinks. "Really. I'm your cousin, your friend, in your house and we share a lot of classes!" I pouted and slowed down in the hallway. Stupid cousin-friends with their stupid logic.

"What, Hugo?" I asked him, everything about me, from my stance to my eye-rolling to my tone, showed pure annoyance. He gave me an amused look and I huffed. This boy was too good at reading people. He somehow knew that I wasn't_ really _mad at him. He slung his arm around my shoulders.

"So, I'm guessing that you're gonna bloody disappear off with dragons the minute graduation's over?" He cocked an eyebrow at me.

I sighed. "That was my plan." He suddenly grinned.

"Wellllllll, what if I knew something that would change your mind? Something so amazing you couldn't refuse and therefore couldn't leave poor old me all alone?" I rolled my eyes

"Hugo, you're never alone. And nothing will make me stay. I've been waiting to work with dragons for _years_."

"Well, then I guess it all matters on whether or not you can say no to the Hollyhead Harpies?" I froze in my tracks. "It would be the reserve team for a year, to get you properly all trained up. Then you'd be playing pro." He coaxed me, handing me a letter, which, might I point out, had already been opened.

"You read my mail?" I glared at him, before dropping my eyes down to skim the letter.

_Miss Lily Potter,_

_We at the Hollyhead Harpies are pleased to inform you that our scouts have been extremely interested in you. We have been told that you have superior flying skills, a strong arm, and impeccable aim. We would love to meet with you and discuss your possible addition to the team. If you would please owl me the date and time that would work best for you, that would be wonderful. I would also like to let you know that if you did join, it is most likely you would be on the reserve team for a single year to get you trained and in shape before we would move you up to the professional team as one of our Chasers. _

_-Gwenog Jones _

I gaped. There was no bloody way. I mean, I loved Quidditch and considered myself good, but this good? I mean, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. A dream come true for thousands of little girls, and admittedly many older girls as well. You didn't take being recruited for any professional quidditch team lightly, but for the Harpies it was a whole other level, because the Harpies didn't ask for you, you begged for them to let you on.

Hugo beamed at me. I groaned and slid down the nearest wall. Why couldn't my life be simple? Why was there always something waiting around the corner to get me into more trouble?

"So?" my cousin asked, sliding down on the wall opposite me.

"Hugo, you know I can't. I've already got a job ready and waiting at the reserve. Plus this was my mum's old team!" The second reason only added onto my resistance.

"But Lily! It's the Hollyhead Harpies!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"I know! I know! But that still doesn't change the fact that I have a job waiting for me and that if I take this I'll only ever be seen from here on out as a mini version of my mother!" Hugo rolled his eyes.

"Lily, everyone knows you're not a copy of your mother. You may look like her but that's where it ends. You're so much more fiery and alive and different than your mother! I've even heard her say it, that you're more Evans than Potter or Weasley!" He stared openly at her. "Lils, this is beyond a once in a lifetime opportunity okay? It's not logical to pass it up!" This set me off.

"Why should I have to do it? Because it's _logical_? Because it's what's_ expected_? Maybe I'm tired of acting logical and expected!" I was nearly screaming by the end of the sentence, and we were both on our feet now.

"Being logical? Doing what's expected? Fighting with your cousin at her engagement party isn't either of those, Lily." I glared at him, willing my eyes to burn him. Sadly, they didn't.

"She's the one who started all this. She's the one to blame. Not me, not Roxy or Rose or anyone else you people try and pin it on! She started this years ago, before you and I were even born. With jealousy and hatred and as we got older it only escalated and got worse and worse. And so many of you never saw it. Never got put through the crap that Rose and I were. You know why Rose was so happy her second year? Because Victoire was gone!" I snarled at him. How dare he pull that one out.

He shook his head at me. "Lily, I get that there was something going on between all our girl cousins and Victoire. But don't think I'm stupid enough to let you paint her as a bully." And he turned on his heel and walked away.

And left me to slump back down in an empty hallway in Hogwarts, to think about traitor cousins, quidditch and dragons.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: So here's the next chapter! I'm trying to get back into this story and get it moving again like it did when I first posted it. I'm trying to squeeze in as much as I can in these final 7 days before school starts back up and I'm overwhelmed by the combination of schoolwork, soccer and my stories :P But I have an announcement, I have a joint account with my friend, it's called _jasmineclaireff_ and our first story is up, from Lily and Marlene's POVs. The pairings are Lily/James and Marlene/Sirius. It's called _Falling Skies in a World of Stars_, so I'd love if you'd go check it out!Major thanks to my reviewers of the past two chapters: _Jessica 682_, _Somerlia_ and _aslansphoenix_**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter :P Obviously.**

**Chapter 12**

I shuffled my feet and stared determinedly at the ground, ignoring the eyes of probing students as they passed me, waiting outside of Professor McGonagall's office. Just when I thought I had finally escaped the press, they get back at me times a thousand. The headline of today's newspapers? _Lily Potter Turns Down Harpies _or_ Potter, to Good for the Harpies? _And such. Apparently my letter to decline had been intercepted and was now all of the wizarding world's media. I was getting mail from people I had never heard of, asking me if I was crazy, or nastier ones saying that I didn't even deserve to be scouted, that I was a cocky no good little bitch. The most comforting one was from someone who actually congratulated me on being able to turn down an opportunity to increase my fame. They said it was something rarely seen these days.

Needless to say, I was a bit more than 'uncomfortable'. I had never been this viciously attacked before, not by unseen people who hid behind their parchment and wrote hateful, ignorant words. And even when I was in the spotlight before, it was almost always good, or something small like my latest boyfriend, or speculating about the coldness between Victoire and I. If only they knew that that coldness was a burning fire.

And this was the last thing I needed. I mean, at least Quidditch was over. We won the cup, if anyone's interested. It was an awesome game, Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw. Almost a draw and the seekers neck in neck going for the snitch and then BAM! Gryffindor catches the snitch and wins. The after party was even more amazing though, perhaps only because firewhiskey was snuck in. But at the same time, NEWT's were next week, and I needed to be studying furiously, not distracted by the stupid press and their view of myself.

The gargoyles suddenly moved to the side. I went up the spiraling staircase and knocked on the doors, hearing Professor McGonagall's voice call for me to come in. I slipped through the doors, and sat down in the chair she motioned to. As she looked at me, concern in her wise eyes, I realized what a mess I must have looked like. My tie hanging loose, top few buttons of my shirt undone and untucked, my skirt riding up a bit too high and one stocking having fallen down. My hair was carelessly thrown in a messy bun and I hadn't bothered with makeup.

"Miss Potter, I'm very sorry to interrupt your possible study time for your upcoming NEWT's. It has recently come to my attention, however, that you may be going through some things in your life that may add complications to your school life. Stress is never a good thing, especially not when it builds up over time. Miss Potter, I understand that you are being put under far to much stress for a seventeen year old girl. I would like to let you know that my doors are always open and my ears always ready to listen." I smiled at her, my eyes watering. That was, quite possibly, the nicest things anyone had said or done for me in the past year.

"Thank you, Professor." I told her quietly.

"Miss Potter, I would also like to say that the prize won when worked for is much more satisfactory than the prize for nothing will ever be." She smiled at me, a twinkle in her eyes. A small smile tugged at her lips. Realizing her meaning, I grinned for what seemed like the first time in ages.

"Thank you, so so so much Professor." What she had just said had made my decision concrete. Because it was true, I had worked every summer for hours on end to secure my place in working with dragons, I had worked hard in school and done everything I possibly could to secure my future in the reserve. And working there would always be more enjoyable, more fulfilling than a job playing on a Quidditch team because I'm good at it and have famous parents. She smiled at me.

"That is all then, Miss Potter. You are free to return to your studies." I exited the room, and took the faster route back to the Common Room. I held my head high, ignored the whispers and stares, and refocused myself back onto my studies. NEWTS, after all, were far more important than gossiping children and nosy classmates.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm baaack! So, my competitive soccer season is over which means I have time to write most weekends! Hurray! So, here's chapter 13. I'm thinking about stopping the story at 15 chapters and starting up a sequel which would have more romance in it, so I can break up Lily's school years from her "work" years. Tell me if you guys like the idea, if not I can just continue it on the same story! Also, if you guys could check out my story that I co-write with a friend, that'd be great! It's called "Falling Skies in a World of Stars" and is set in the Marauder's Era. I also have a link up on my profile to 5 really sad Harry Potter videos that made me sob, they were really good, though! :)**

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, or I wouldn't be writing on a fanfic website, and my writing is obviously no where as good.**

**Chapter 13**

Newts were, to say the least, the most stressful thing I had ever experienced in my life. Our teachers were cramming in as much information as they could, while piling on the homework. The library was crammed with students multitasking with studying and finishing work, and no one had any patience. Meals and sleep came second to school, and I often would fall asleep around two in the morning, wake up at six, and study more, usually only grabbing a piece of toast for breakfast. Eight NEWT's were going to be difficult, I had always known that, but the true realization of the spectrum it was on had never truly hit me until I was there, with the tests looming on the horizon. Alice was just as much, if not even more, stressed out than me, though this was mainly due to the fact that her cheerleading had kept going long after the Quidditch season had ended and had detracted from her study time. Sarah, on the other hand, was surprisingly calm. I envied her ability to keep a cool head in even the worst situations. She was the only reason that the night before our first NEWT's, we got to be at eight.

"At this point, studying won't do you much good because you won't retain any more of it and sleep will help you have a clearer head and keep your magic stronger. Now go to bed and sleep, we'll have a nice breakfast in the morning, then take our Charms NEWT, have a short break before lunch, followed by DADA and Arithmancy."

We had grudgingly stumbled to bed, and the moment my head hit to pillow, I was out.

I awoke naturally on my own in the morning, something I hadn't done in weeks, and felt nicer than I could've imagined. I yawned, rolled over and sat up slowly, stretching. The clock on my nightstand blinked six-thirty, which was reasonablesince I wouldn't be studying this morning. I took my time getting ready, and slowly ambled down to the Great Hall for breakfast where I joined Sarah and Alice. Sarah grinned at me from across the table once I had taken a seat.

"Well, someone looks more relaxed." She joked. I rolled my eyes, but a smile quirked my lips up. Alice still looked nervous, but a much lesser amount than she was the previous day. I let my eyes wander around the huge room as I ate, observing my peers.

Nearly every seventh year looked terrified. Some were eating while reading textbooks, others were debating furiously topics that were sure to be on a test. It was actually rather amusing to watch. But as she glanced around, it struck her of just how empty the Hall felt. Not that it was for lack of students, but rather of Weasleys and Potters. Hogwarts wouldn't have a Weasley/Potter next year. The thought made her feel slightly empty inside, that their family generation had for so long filled these seats, walked these halls, and would no longer was strangely sad. Especially to Lily, who had never cried or been weepy or the thought of leaving Hogwarts. Perhaps it was the impending fact that they were leaving in but a few weeks that was finally making it all set in. That they wouldn't always see eachother every day, eat breakfast in this hall, play on that Quidditch pitch, run on the grounds, practice spells in those classrooms. Lily supposed it was the fear of the unknown she saw when she looked into the future that made her love Hogwarts so dearly now.

All such thoughts flew out of my mind when we left for our Charm's NEWT. We were assigned seats, took the writted exam (on which I knew most of the answers, though certainly not all,) before being assigned and examiner for the practical.

I was assigned to an elderly woman with greying hair who I recognized from many Christmas Parties and trips to the Ministry. She greeted me warmly, and I performed the charms requested perfectly, much to my relief. Outside of the examination area, it was a frenzy of students comparing what they answered on the written exam. Not wanting to think about it, I told Sarah and Alice to meet me on the grounds. I dashed to the kitchens, where the elves quickly threw together three sandwiches and lemonade together for us before I met them under the willow tree by the lake.

The tree, I had been told, was legendary for the generations of Potters who had sat under it with friends. My grandfather, my father, my brothers and myself had all found refuge under it. We picniced and relaxed, shoving the thought of DADA and Arithmancy from our minds for the moment.

The rest of my exams followed in much the same manner, and I was proud to say that I felt like I did well on most of them, though certainly the best in Care of Magical Creatures. Astrology had also gone well, though I had a feeling I had mixed up two stars, and in Arithmancy I was sure I had used the wrong formula for one problem. The last two weeks, in which we had no classes and no real responsibilities, were the best and worst of my time at Hogwarts.

The best in that there was no stress of schoolwork or classes, and I simply got to hangout and have fun with my friends. The worst in that the thought of leaving the school became more and more unbearable as time wore on. My Quidditch friends didn't help either, as many of them would still be in school for the next few years. The guilt, though it was unavoidable, of leaving them behind was excrutiating, as was the prospect of losing friendships and bonds that were built on years and years of spending long hours together.

Alice and Sarah, however, were convinced that wouldn't happen, that our friendships (both near and long distance,) would stay strong.

"We'll visit you on whichever dragon reserve you end up working on. It'll be fun! And you can always visit us, as well! Alice will be working at Gladrag's in Hogsmead, and I'll be at St. Mungo's. We'll all go out shopping and for dinner, yeah? It'll all work out." Sarah reassured me, with Alice nodding in agreement. I beamed at them.

"Promise?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. They nodded, mirroring the grin on my face.

"Promise." They firmly agreed in unison. We all exchanged a single look before bursting out into laughter, our melody of happiness ringing across the grounds, which were sprinkled with fellow seventh years. A few looked at us curiously, but most were moping, thinking of how they would be leaving in a little time. But I figured that if this was all the time we had, than it should be filled with laughter and happiness so when I was to look back I could smile and know that I made the most of it.

**Much thanks to last chapter's reviewers: _Potter Lover102, A Lovely Reader, x .ailver x, Wandering Dawn, SnowflakeBeautiful, Anita Simons_ and _Jessica682_. You guys are amazing! **


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks to winter1990, Ella Mentree, Wandering Dawn, anon and Jessica 682! Thsi chapter is for you guys, because I am sadly one of those writers who lives for reviews :P Please also check out my blog (linked to on my profile) if you have time, it's about setting better standards for fanfics and learning how to write a polite yet critical review.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter! :O**

**Chapter 14**

Graduation. The word was both terrifying and exhilerating. Our dark, a bit more formal, graduation robes were in prime condition, and our badge shined just for the occasion. Alice and Sarah had been "beautifying" themselves all morning, and I was still in a towel from my shower, my hair air drying as I absentmindedly stared out our window. There was a strange sense of melancholy in the act of moving on, moving up, and of leaving this place that had been such a safe haven, an escape, for seven long years.

"C'mon, Lily, time to get ready." Sarah told me, gently pulling me up off the bed. I complied, putting on my makeup carefully, keeping it with natural toned eyeshadow and simple dark brown mascara and clear lipgloss. We slipped into our normal clothes that would be there for after the ceremony. While Alice and Sarah put on cute dresses, I stuck with a nice pair of dark, stright leg jeans and a cream colored blouse. I gently pulled on the graduation robe, a dark, deep purple that was almost black. It was meant to be different from our everyday robes, and different the silky, shiny fabric was. The only badge allowed for today was the Hogwarts badge, the one with no House distinction, the one we wore walking into the Great Hall that September 1st that marked the beginning for us.

I went through the motions, filing down the stairs and hallways, my mind drinking it all in thirstily, trying to remember and fully appreciate it all. Alice and Sarah were doing the same walkign beside me. It was surreal, to think that we'd never come back. That this was our last time wandering these halls. That we'd never be back after another summer, never compare schedules again, never rush off to class after late wakeup in the morning. Never play Quidditch in proud robes of scarlet and gold, never again be able to blame certain actions on being a "lion at heart."

We lined up outside, seating ourselves in that order, desperately ignoring the crowd of family members and various other well wishers sitting in the chairs directly behind ours. We fought tears as our teachers, our leaders and role models, got up to speak, as they told fond stories and wished us the best. Tears, at this time and this place, were nothing to be ashamed of.

We all watched as our Head Boy and Girl gave their heart wrenching speeches, that each and eveyr one of my fellow students and I could connect to, especially as we were part of many of them. By the time Professor McGonagall started reading off our names, tears were proudly streaming down every student's face.

"Lily Potter" I walked forward, embracing Professor McGonagall as she handed me my graduation parchment roll, and I continued on to shake all the other professors' hands. Each one, I realized, had in some way or the other played a role in who I had turned out to be. The last of us, a Zabini, was called, and then it was over. I stood in a crowd with my fellow graduates as our professors called out "Our Graduates!" A cheer went up, and everyone tossed up their hats.

As everyone shuffled off to their families, I stuck with Alice and Sarah until Dominique finally found my and drug me over to where my entire family was waiting, most of them (luckily) still fawning over Hugo. I instinctively drew off to the side a bit where I met my parents.

"Mum! Dad!" I cried happily, hugging both of them fiercely. They beamed at me, and I turned to James and Al who were both seemingly glowing with pride as they sandwiched me.

"Our little sisters all grown up!" James howled, pretending to sob all over me while Al shook his head at our eldest brother. Dom, Roxy and Rose stood aside while Scorpius, who was practically another older brother to me, spun me around, congragulating me on graduating as well as my job. Dom, Roxy and Rose came next, all smiles and hugging and happy tears. I was enveloped with the love of my cousins, minus Victoire and Teddy of course. They stood a bit farther away, now they werethe ones off to the side. My aunts and uncles all beamed and patted my head, a few weeping about how all of us were so grown up. A smiled reservedly at Hugo, still not having completely forgiven him. He bit his lip, scuffed his shoe on the ground a bit and ruffled his hair nervously.

"Sorry." He finally spat out. Though the verbal apology seemed insufficient, but I knew Hugo wasn't particularly gifted in the speech department (much like his father) and his eyes were filled with remorse. I smiled at him and hugged my cousin. Eh, I figured Hugo didn't have much of a choice in the fact that he was prone to be an idiot, look at Uncle Ron when he was Hugo's age. From what Aunt Hermione's told us, it was even worse than Hugo.

I watched with thinly veiled suspicion as Victoire and Teddy slowly approached Hugo and I.

"Congratulations." Victoire spoke stiffly, lightly shaking my hand, then embracing Hugo. I snorted, muc hto the amusement of my girl cousins and Mum and Aunt Hermione. Teddy looked at me awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck before quickly hugging me and moving on to shake Hugo's hand. I shook my head as I watched the couple come back together clinglily, the cowards deserved each other.

Of course, that was just my stubborn side. My other side (the one that had a heart) was screaming for Teddy to come back to me, to love me like I loved him, to marry me instead of Victoire. Of course, my stubborn side won over, and I didn't even glance at them in the rest of the short time we remained there.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hey guys! I'd give another pointless excuse but I'm pretty sure everyone's heard em already :) So I'm hoping to get at least another chapter up soon, this week is spring break = lots of time! :D**

**Chapter 15**

I could never put a finger on exactly what it was I loved about the Reserve. Perhaps the fresh, clean air polluted only with the charcoal smoke of trees and other such objects burnt by the dragons that make you cough so badly you were sure you were going to hack up a lung. Or, maybe it was the tents that we all lived in, complete with showers that only ran with cold water. Could it be the three am wake ups when a dragon decided to try to escape its enclosure to fight the one next door? Of course, it could also just as likely be the lack of interfering family members.

If I had to choose one, it would most likely be the last reason. My only other family member over here is Uncle Charlie, who is amazing and awesome and by far my coolest uncle. He doesn't judge, doesn't show favoritism, and best of all- doesn't try to convince me to go back to England. Something the rest of my family needs to learn how to do, I mean, have some self control!

Anyways, the reserve is wonderful, all small things like smoky air, cold water and early morning disasters aside. The Romanian Dragon Sanctuary is the largest of its kind, and the most successful. We take in and heal injured dragons, cross-breeding other dragons and study dragon behaviors in general. We have close to two hundred dragons, each from varying species. Around fifty of these are in their own enclosures, recovering from injuries, about ten are in solitary confinement for the safety of their pregnancies, and the rest are in the huge enclosure termed "The Wild" as it is a mimicking of how they would live in the wild. What usually shocks people is that for such a large reserve, there are so few people working it. We have, all together, twenty people on th reserve. Uncle Charlie is the "leader" and all actions and plans have to go through him, Mark is our security/technical person who uses muggle technology modified by magic to keep an eye on all the dragons at all times, as well as to keep them in their enclosures. Leon and Marseilles are our breeding specialists who are constantly working with the mother dragons and about which species together make what kind of dragon. There are five nutritionists: Allison, Alan, Eli, Kriyo and Matt, who work closely with our dragon veterinarian specialists: Mary, Ian, Kameron, Isiah and Lucas. The other six of us specialize in dragon behaviors and handling. There's me, Peter, Jedidiah, Carson, Oliver and Sean. It's a fun group of people, I have to admit. I share a tent with the only other girls on the reserve: Marsielles, Allison and Mary. Which isn't so bad as, thanks to magic, the tent is huge on the inside.

I flipped through the letters that had just arrived, my family had caught on that the long trip tired the owls out and finally simply sent one owl with all their letters once a week. Rose gushed about Scorpius, apparently he had given her his family ring, Roxy gave me a very detailed accounting of just how hectic things were at WWW's wither her dad and Fred, and Dom ranted about her sister's wedding craze. Apparently Victoire wanted to get a ring on her boy's finger and make it official as soon as possible, Dom insinuating it was because Teddy had been seemingly "depressed" since I "ran off." Pah, it's not true, it's just another attempt at trying to drag me back. They just can't go on without me and my amazing-ness. Yeah right. Al mailed me for advice on where to take Lacey for a super romantic date (how would_ I_ know?) and Mum bugged me some more about coming home for her birthday. August 11th. The date loomed ominously on my calendar. Mary, who had become my closest friend and confident in the three months I'd been here, he been attempting to convince me to go.

I use the same reasoning with Mary as I do with everyone else. If I go home, old feelings and feuds will be kicked up. Everything will go up in flames, and with my luck, it'll be the cover story of the next day's paper. Not only that, but I have a knack for uncovering secrets and skeletons hidden deeply in other people's closets that I never in a million years wanted to know. And it somehow always gets out in the worst, loudest, most catastrophic way. It's the closest thing to the truth I can bear to say out loud. If the words come out of my mouth, they are suddenly real and far too irreversible.

I haven't seen him since graduation. That same night I packed up and was gone, and the most I've heard of him comes out of little tidbits from my family's letters. They would be meaningless little things, if it wasn't Teddy. Stupid little facts: _His hair is always this drab washed out brown color _or _his eyes are just this grey, and not even a pretty grey! _Or, even worse _Vic and Ted have been fighting again, I don't know how they're making it through this rough spot, I just hope they'll make it._ Little news that allow my imagination to run rampant, to take this information and twist and turn it, mold it till its black and blue and somehow resembles exactly what I want it to, where my dreams are full of Teddy's "I love you"'s and him leaving Victoire.

These days it's not so strange to wake up with tears running from my eyes. Nor is it out of the ordinary to spend the first conscious ten minutes of each morning staring blankly at the tent's ceiling top. Distance was supposed to make it better, distance was supposed to make me forget. Forgetting would be a whole lot easier if he didn't haunt me whenever I closed my eyes.

Through it all, I must say, Mary has been far better than I could have ever imagined. She shocked me a bit, at first. She's very tall and has a rather boxy build, with dark caramel skin, lush honey-brown wavy hair that falls to her waist, warm chocolate eyes and round, owl-ish glasses. Her manner is a bit strange, she's very straightforward and scientific, and more than anything, our friendship wasn't forced. Throughout my whole life, I've always been pushed into relationships. It was always "Oh, they're family friends" or "they're a really important political family!" And even with Alice and Sarah, not being friends with them was never and option. Mary and I had a natural fit for friendship.

Her calm, scientific evaluating demeanor perfectly countered my own fiery, emotion-ruled one. She was down to earth, my head drifted off in the clouds to chase dreams. She was never judged, people respected her too much. I was always judged at every corner, and people had no respect for me. More than anything, though, was that we could fully trust each other. With Allison and Marseilles whispered about each other and flirted with many of the guys on the rez, Mary and I discussed books and teenage magazines, joking about the materialistic subjects that such things contained. It was beyond shocking to look at Allison and Marseilles, at the little petty things they worried over like makeup and clothes, and to realize that I was just like them barely a few months ago.

Life on the reserve, to say the least, had changed me. Life here required that you be a team player, we were all a close knit family and it was all or nothing. Not having each other's backs would mean imminent death. I felt my relationships here were the closest I had formed in the rest of my life, excluding my relationships with Roxy, Dom, Rose, Al, James, Mum and Dad, of course. I glared at the calendar, my thoughts of my family and home finally making me give in. With a huff I threw my minimal clothing into a duffel bag, and slipped the strap onto my shoulder before sprinting off to the Head Tent.

I burst in, grateful for the physical fitness requirements of working on the reserve, my thoughts drifting as to how out of breath someone else might be from the run.

"Lily!" Mary called, bringing me out of my thoughts. Charlie, Mary, Mark, Isiah and Oliver all looked at me expectantly, all bemused.

"I'm going home for the weekend, it's my mom's birthday!" I spit out, hoping that if I said it fast it would mean less of a reaction from everyone else. Mary smiled warmly at me, her eyes twinkling. Uncle Charlie mirrored her expression while Mark and Isiah handed over several sickles to Oliver. I glared at them. "We're having a talk when I get back, you three."

With that a grabbed a handful of floo powder and stepped into the reserve's floo fireplace and shouted my address.

I arrived in a cloud of ashes, coughing as I had accidentally inhaled some on the long floo journey. I stumbled out of my fireplace, landing in an awkward mess on the floor before a mane of red hair obscured my vision as I was pulled to a standing position, then had the life strangled from me by my insane cousin. Despite this, I couldn't help the grin that curled across my lips.

When she finally drew back it occurred to me that I probably wasn't completely presentable, in my dark brown cargo pants, navy blue t shirt, scuffed up brown boots, hair messily in a ponytail and my face was undoubtedly covered in grime. I noted Teddy, looking far more washed out than anyone had described, standing in the corner talking to James, and Victoire on the opposite side of the room, frostily discussing something with her mother in French. Then my mother dragged me out of the family room and upstairs to my old room. She hugged me, murmuring how glad she was that I was home. I smiled and nodded along, agreeing to quickly wash up before coming back down. I looked around my room, the lilac walls that now seemed so irrelevant and frivolous mocking me. I growled and flung my bag onto the bed, grabbing some clean clothes and attempting to pick out something that was in mildly good condition. On the reserve we didn't have much cause to dress nicely.

I finally settled on a nicely fitting pair of dark jeans and a simple dark grey t shirt. After a quick shower I flung on the clothes and rubbed a brush through my snarly hair and quickly braided it to the side. It felt so odd to stand in the same bathroom where under a year ago I had stood, taking hour long showers and spending twice that time meticulously applying makeup and elaborately styling my hair.

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

I shook the thought off as I took a few deep breathes, calming myself and focusing intently on getting through the weekend. If I could handle fire breathing, three ton dragons, than I could most certainly handle my family... right?


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Okay guys, here's another chapter. Please take the time to review :) **

It's very different from before, and the contrast is sharpest for me, the outsider who hasn't been there to observe the gradual changes that make things easy to adapt to. Not one to be a hypocrite, I've already acknowledged that I'm probably the one who has changed the most. I feel out of place with Dom and Roxy's trivial gossip about the family and workplace, the people who they chatter on about are simply faceless names with no real person behind the mask. I find myself, rather, in the company of a quiet but happy Rose. We settled down comfortably on the rocking chair on the back porch, our own childhood spot. The sweet, warm summer air seems so alien yet so familiar.

She tucked me under her arm in a hug, almost as if she's afraid I'm going to run. And it is then that, for the first time, I realize that someone here may have actually truly missed me. I looked up to see her pale blue eyes clouding over with tears.

"Oh, Rosie," I murmur, enveloping her in a hug of my own as both of our bodies shake from sobbing. It takes a few seconds after we pull away for me to realize that I was crying as well. "I missed you, so much." I admit, finally allowing myself to recognize that I would never be able to really forget, not any of these people, and that I truly would never want to forget many of them.

It's now that we finally just talk. Everything is taken off my chest, like a heavy weight simply being taken off. I catch up on her life, and she catches up on mine. And while the drama inside increases over various feuds and arguments, Rose and I become closer than ever. Because I couldn't believe it had taken me that long to realize that she truly was my sister. By the end of the night we're laughing and joking around like we used to, though perhaps a bit more maturely, with a bit more knowledge of the world. Everyone is getting ready to leave when Mum calls us in, her eyes sparkling with happiness at seeing Rose and I together again.

Faced with at least a half hour more of socialization on the behalf of Mum, I begin with Al and Scorpius, Rose deciding to lounge with them as well. We discuss little, every day things like Al's Auror training, or Scorpius' job at Gringotts. It isn't until I hear a snippet about something that really catches my attention that I drift away. Somewhat disappointingly, the group of Mum, Dad, Aunt Hermione, Uncle Ron, Uncle Bill, Uncle George and Aunt Ange also includes Teddy and Victoire. But I steel myself and slip in comfortably between Uncle Ron and Dad, who both look down at me fondly for a moment before returning their eyes back to Aunt Hermione. It's something about a new bill the Ministry's trying to pass. A bill that will limit house elf rights further, take away from the merpeople and centaur lands, and destroy and downsize many dragon reserves. The most troubling thing is that there aren't many reserves left, so destroying and downsizing would leave us with almost none. My fists are clenched, my nails digging into my hands, covered with callouses and rough from burns, yet still digging deep enough to draw blood. Dad subtly nudges me, and I realize that almost everyone in the group is looking at my now unclenched, and bloody hands in disbelief. It only serves to add fuel to the fire as I realize that no one except Aunt Hermione seems to truly care about what effect this will have.

My scorching gaze sweeps across the faces of the others in the group, every single one, even Teddy and Victoire. Most can't even meet my eyes and I see none of the understanding and compassion with which I hold such creatures in anyone else's eyes except Aunt Hermione. Incredulously, I try and meet each of their eyes, but theirs are trained firmly on the floor. Finally, I understand the frustration that has driven Aunt Hermione for years, that has been a contributer to the many near divorces she and Uncle Ron have had. I understand why Uncle Charlie never visits, never leaves the reserve. Because these people are not like us, and it is disgusting. It is amazing in the worst way, how ignorant and self serving, only focusing on themselves, wizard kind has become. In a brief flash of insanity, I imagine just what should rightfully happen, release all the dragons, give all the house elves freedom and rights, and let centaurs and merpeople roam freely, as they are far more sophisticated and "human" as we wizards like to think ourselves. I shake my head, no longer able to bear it, and storm out of the room, making sure the door bangs shut in the way that always drove my mother mad.

It's barely fifteen minutes later when I hear heavy footfalls and the crunching of summer sun drained grass underfoot. I'm sitting on the ground, my back against the tree and my feet in the small creek. The summer air, which simply hours before seemed so homely and welcoming, now seems suffocating and polluted. I long for the crisp, cold, clean mountain air of the reserve, only permeated with the sharp stinging scent of pine needles. These footsteps are all too familiar, so I don't turn around or glance back, not even when they pause a foot behind me, not even when the rich, sweet smoky smell of him reaches me and envelopes me gently. It's a wonder he's still alive with how often he smokes, nearly a pack every day since his fifth year at Hogwarts. Mum and Dad didn't like it, but said they wouldn't affect his health since they're magically enhanced. His more natural, sharp scent of cinnamon hits a few moments later, the spice only furthering to fog up my mind.

I paw restlessly at the rich soil beneath my hands, digging my nails into it and raking it into my palms. My hands, stained by the dirt, suddenly are so much more familiar than those pale, prim, clean hands I had before, in the room with all those people who have no compassion or understanding for any creature except themselves. I sympathize with these other creatures, so unlike me yet so similar. Dragons the most of them all. When I was a child, dragons had fascinated me. I had read everything I could get my hands on about dragons, read hundreds of fairytales, searching for even the slightest mention of the winged reptile. I loved them all; fire-breathing, slow, tiny, giant, water-dwelling, mountain ruling. I viewed them as the most magnificent things on Earth. Later, it was our similarities that drew me in further, only strengthening my connection with the complex beasts. How misunderstood and judged we both were, how we felt so strongly the need to defend ourselves simply to preserve our life. I wondered, in that moment, if that was why my Aunt Hermione had so strongly empathized with house elves. Weren't they both viewed as scum to pure bloods? Were they both not seen as a lower class? Weren't they both mistreated?

But I would not let another thing strengthen my bond to dragons, nor Aunt Hermione's bond to house elves. Because I will not let them hurt and tear apart the dragons as I have been so clearly torn apart by Victoire and those ignorant people in my family, not let them be injured as Teddy injured me. The dragons may not have a voice to speak with, but I do. I know, without having to question it even slightly, that everyone back on the reserve I'll fight for these dragons, and so will everyone from the other reserves. Dragon keeping is not something you get into if you do not have a burning, raging passion for it. The dangers, for most, far outweigh the benefits.

"What are you going to do?" His voice is clear, the same steady, sure tone it's seemingly always been. I stare firmly at the creek as he sits down beside me, the first show of camaraderie from him I've seen in a very long time. I take a deep breath, steadying my heartbeat and attempting to clear my mind. In this case, clearing it of both his presence's effect and the anger that has clouded my mind.

"I'm going to quit my job at the reserve," I start, blinking my eyes to stop the sting of tears and trying to keep the wobble out of my voice at giving up the dream I've been fighting for forever, "and I'm going to go around to _every single bloody reserve_ and rally the people there. I'll travel from town to town and educate people about dragons, I'll fight to stop this motion against them. I'll go against the government myself if I have to." It's pointless to fight the tears at this point, and a few fat drops roll down my face. He catches one on his fingertip, his hand resting gently on my jaw for a few long seconds before I jerk away, attempting to scramble up into a standing position and dart away. Because _damn _I'd done it again and I'd let him in. _Him _of all the people in the world. Merlin, what was with my luck? All I'd need now was to kiss him, then have him run back to the house and declare the wedding with Victoire to be officially back on, and move the date up to tomorrow.

"Lily!" He called out sharply, catching onto my escape attempt and suddenly his arm shot out, a hand clasping around my wrist while another darted out to my waist. Suddenly I was pulled forward and into him. My forehead rested lightly on his chest, right below his collarbone. My face flushed red, and I kept my eyes trained straightforward, figuring it was better to stare at his admittedly very nice looking chest than his face. He sighed deeply and wrapped his arms around me, resting his forehead on the top of my head.

"Lily, I am so, so, so sorry," he mumbled, not releasing me even slightly. "I know I won't ever be able to make up for what I've done, but _please _give me a chance to explain and to at least try and prove myself." I took in a ragged breath, tears streaming down my face from all the emotional stress and nodded slightly.

He drew back slightly, and motioned for us both to sit down. He sat with his back resting on a tree, and I sat across from him, crossing my legs beneath me, feeling like a child again. He gently pulled my chin up with a caring hand so my eyes met his bright gold ones.

"Lily, I've loved you for as long as I can remember. You were my little angel, my little sister. All I wanted was to make you happy and to keep you safe. But then I got older and Hogwarts whisked me away, and then Victoire was there and vying for my attention. I hope you can forgive me for being a foolish little boy. I know now that you were always more important, that you always should've been my first priority, and that you still should be. I know it's no excuse, but these past few years have been more confusing than I can express in words. To try and express it, I realized I was in love, romantically, with my godfather's daughter, who was much, much younger than me. I was in love with a child, because legally that was what you were, who I was only ever supposed to see as a sister. I had a girlfriend, a devoted, long term girlfriend, who I was expected to marry and have children with. I could only imagine the anger, the looks of disgust, that would haunt me from every angle if I was to act on my feelings. And through all this, Victoire was playing on my fears. She'd gossip specifically about couples with large age gaps, talk about the newest pureblood gossip about which family was arranging an incestuous marriage. She'd talk about how people so easily betray others' trust. And I just couldn't see her manipulating me."

"You loved her, still do," my voice is devoid of any emotion, "love makes you blind." The pain that flashes through his eyes is all too real, all too close. I avert my eyes. He continues.

"Yes, Lily, I loved her. Part of me still does. It is beyond my control at this point, and yes that love did make me blind. She told me the nastiest, meanest things about you, mainly rumors she'd heard. She tried to draw me away from you, and it worked. And I'm sorry. I know that by now my apologies may as well be empty and pointless to you, but I mean them. And I've hit rock bottom, Lily, and maybe it's time for me to start over again. I don't want to push you, and I won't do that to myself either. However, I beg you to give me one more chance. One more try, can we attempt to be friends?" Desperation colors his speech, and I raise my eyes to his own, just to check that he's sincere. I nod, giving in and leaving it up to fate. Waiting to see if fate would screw me over again.

I suddenly recalled, with surprising clarity, Alice wisely quoting something she had read in one of her "inspiration for life" sort of books. "We spend too much time living in the 'what if' and need to learn to live in the 'what is.'" It suddenly seemed so true, and applied so clearly to my life. So when Teddy gave me a blindingly bright smile, I attempted to reflect it the best as I could. I fought off the angry wave of bitterness and resentment, honestly trying to forgive and forget.

So that night when he hugged me goodbye and promised to talk more tomorrow at Mum's official birthday party, I beamed and hugged him, back promising to do the same. I headed off to bed soon after that, skilfully avoiding a run in with Victoire, who had been shooting me glares that rivaled the fires of Hell.

And as I laid in bed that night, sleep eluding me, one word echoed in my mind. _Friends. _


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Campaigns are harder to run than I could've ever imagined. Yeah, I know, naïve little me. It had been approximately five weeks since Mum's birthday party, and I guess things had changed a bit. I was officially working off campus for the reserve, as a spokesperson. I was part of a team, twelve of us total, from other reserves around the world who were going around and trying to stop the encroachment onto our lands.

I'd been staying with Rose and Scorpius, their flat had an extra bedroom that Rose had immediately offered up when she found out I would be staying for a while. However, standing in the blistering heat outside Gringotts and taking people's looks of contempt with a smile, I was starting to think that I might not have a Reserve to represent much longer.

Logically, I knew that the Romania Reserve would stay up and running, it was the largest and most successful reserve ever. But I worried for reserves in Sweden, Russia, India, Canada and the Indies. How long would it take before they were disappearing and the dragons there slaughtered?

Mallory, a spokeswoman from the Canada National Reserve, shot me a hopeless look as yet another person shrugged off our offer of a pamphlet. We had diagrams, newspaper articles, magazines and pamphlets, all aimed at promoting the value of preserving dragons and other such creatures. A few students had taken the pamphlets, and occasionally a parent would grab a magazine, but everyone else simply passed us by. We were not important enough to receive a second of their time.

If it was thirty years ago, I could understand the attitude most people currently held towards dragons. However, their gazillion X rating was no longer deserved in all accounts. For example, Gorynychs raised in domestic environments turn out extremely tame, and if you crossbreed one with a Knucker, you get the equivalent of a house cat. And Orochi's crossbred with Wyvern's produce a loyal and protective familiar. Ladons, Rjujins, Shen-Lungs, Glaurungs, Smaugs and some Swedish Shortsnouts can become tame if their bloodlines are diluted with any other breed, and become docile with training. Admittedly, some breeds, such as the Norwegian Ridgeback and Hungarian Horntail, cannot be tamed. However, these are a small corner of a greater image.

An image that would be burnt to the ground if we didn't do something.

Speaking of things burning to the ground, I spotted a head of blue hair down the alley. This was my cue to leave for the day, having finished my usual shift of six am to one pm. The fame that accompanied being a Potter brought us a bit more attention than we would gain otherwise, but equally as famous Amie Krum took over after my shift, so I knew I wasn't harming the cause. I gave Mallory a nod in farewell before grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder and weaving through the crowd. Teddy's smiling face came into view quickly, and he fished me out of the crowd.

It was a relief, as it was every day, to see that his hair was still a lovely bright blue, and his eyes still a glistening gold. His hair and eyes changing back to brown had actually taken up residence in my nightmares lately. Blue and gold meant he was still on rocky terrain with Victoire. Blue and gold meant he was _my _Teddy again. Browns meant they were back together and going strong, that he was _her _Teddy. I hoped that I would never see brown on him again.

I comfortably looped my right arm through his left, and we walked slowly, letting our eyes take in the products in the shops' windows as we went past. While walking we kept up an easy stream of chatter, mostly about how my shift went and how his Auror duties went on in the night.

"It's so much more exhilarating at night," he went on, needlessly explaining why he always worked nights. " And then I get more time to spend with you in the day! I mean, nine to five I can work, then sleep till one, when I come and get you!" He had it all worked out. I grinned, shaking my head at him.

"You don't need to explain yourself to me," I reminded him gently, nudging him slightly with my hip. He grinned, looking slightly abashed.

"I know," he said, "and thank you for that." It was knowledge that went unspoken, that he always felt the need to explain everything because that was exactly what Victoire would make him do. And it wasn't exactly a secret that she hated him working nights.

It was comfortable, being around him. Just talking about anything and everything. I finally felt like I had someone besides Aunt Hermione and Uncle Charlie on my side. I felt like I had my best friend back, back from his and my own pre-Hogwarts days. It was more than I had ever dared to wish or hope for. Mary, Isaiah and Oliver had all been writing me, and had all commented on how...well..._happy_ I sounded.

I suppose I had never realized how unhappy I was until I remembered what it was like to be completely and utterly happy again. For so long it had been constant fighting about everything: professional Quidditch, reserves, Teddy, Victoire, Hugo, everything! And to finally have it all calm down and be able to focus on saving the reserves and getting closer to Teddy, well, it was refreshing.

Teddy apparated us into his flat from the Leaky Cauldron, the familiar contorting of my stomach not nearly as nauseating as it had been at seventeen. We wandered to the kitchen, where I grabbed a microwave meal and cooked it with my wand while Teddy browsed through his cabinets, eventually settling on a bag of crisps. I simply grinned at his choice, and we settled down on his couch, Teddy turn on the Wiz-Telly and we began watching the Arrows and the Wasps battle it out.

_7:30 _blinked on his clock before either of us knew it, and I quickly swept up the trash that had accumulated in the six hours we had watched miscellaneous shows.

"Already?" he asked from his position, lying on the couch. I rolled my eyes at him and playfully smirked.

"Yes, _already_. Now get your lazy bum up! You've got to get ready for work and I ought to be getting home!"

He grinned and gently whacked me over the head with a rolled up magazine. He ruffled his hair a bit, a nervous habit I was sure he had kicked years ago, and the playfulness was gone from his eyes.

"Teddy?" I said, for a moment questioning my friend's mental stability. His grinned at me nervously, a quick quirk of his lips.

"I, uh, just wanted to tell you that Vic and I are taking a break," he said. At my questioning look, he elaborated. "We canceled the wedding, broke off the engagement and broke of the relationship-temporarily."

I fought the instinctive urge to grin, scream, and do a happy dance and forced myself to be concerned to him.

"So you're okay?" I said, he nodded and took a few steps forward before hugging me tightly. "I've gotta go, Teddy," I said as he released me, "you know, sleep and all that." I teased he grinned and walked into the hallway outside his flat's front door. Just as I was about to apparate away he grabbed my wrist, tugged me towards him, and kissed me.

It was so quick I had no time to respond, still in shock. He grinned at me.

"I've wanted to do that really badly for a while now, and hey, I'm single!" He pecked me on the cheek before darting into his flat and closing the door.

…

Confusing much, Teddy Lupin?


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

The bulging bag at my feet was a very heavy reminder of what the day would bring. It was unavoidable, I knew that, but it didn't make what I had to do any less painful. Our only choice was for three prominent members of the magical creature community to travel to reserves across the world and gather evidence and support if we were ever going to stop the destruction of the reserves.

And it was a no brainer that I would be one of those three. My last name alone would garner enough attention to warrant my spot.

It was still difficult. I smiled, because that was the only action that could hold back the tears, as my forehead rested on his shoulder. I blinked rapidly before pulling back.

"Don't you go and forget me, Lily," he grinned down at me, hair the bright turquoise I so adored. I rolled my eyes at him.

"As if I could, Ted." I smiled back up at him, and he pulled me into one last tight hug before letting me go.

I was instantaneously pulled into the crowd of politicians, reporters, and fellow dragon lovers who were there to experience and support us as we set off for our first leg of the trip. Our first stop would be a smaller reserve in Scotland, and from there we would work our way across Europe, then Asia, then down Africa, before moving through the Americas, and finally coming back home.

A small, rather resentful, part of me muttered how the tour couldn't have come at a worse time, how Teddy would be left alone to go back to Victoire, and all sorts of other depressing thoughts. But I shoved it away. Teddy left Victoire for a reason. He would wait.

And, to be completely honest, the time and space could be good. I mean, the guy that I'd loved for longer than I could remember loved me. Me! That was shocking enough. The tour would give me an opportunity to adjust. Because, well, Teddy and I together had always seemed a little impossible.

Romania was as beautiful and exhilarating as I remembered it; my return was almost as sweet as the memory of my first day there as a _real_ employee. The freshness of the crisp air, the semipermanent sear to surrounding trees, it as if reliving my most treasured memories.

There really wasn't much to do at the Romanian Reserve, it was so large, so well funded, and so well known that it wasn't truly in danger in the first place, and my uncle and I were both had so much invested in it that they were fully behind our cause.

It was more of an opportunity to relax and have a little fun before getting back on the road. And, for many of us, and opportunity to reply to letters that may have been ignored in the past few frantic weeks spent in many smaller reserves.

I admittedly was guilty of this, Mum's letters particularly had gone unanswered during that long period, and I knew she would be furious. Teddy was the one person who's letters were answered immediately after they were received, and the steady correspondence was more than reassuring. He seemed to have been Victoire behind him, though I knew he still ran into her at the frequent Weasley gatherings at the Burrow. His job was going very well, and his hours were becoming more flexible, though he still preferred night shifts. And well, he was Teddy, which meant he was wonderful, and I found myself more sure with each day that we would work.

The case was growing stronger as we traveled, and everyone was slowly becoming convinced that we would succeed, the case would be ours.

"C'mon, Lil, bonfire!" Amie grinned at me from the tent door and I set down the barely started introduction of a response to Mum. She would understand- bonfires should always come before letters.

I was forced to reconsider, though, when a new letter for Teddy came in, his tawny owl dropping it quickly and immediately going to rest on its perch. I thought about replying right away, before quickly dashing out to the party.

Because, though I adored Teddy and his letters, I hadn't gone to a bonfire in forever.

And the bonfire would only be there for a few hours, after all, and I was getting the feeling Teddy would be around for a lot longer than that.

**A/N: I owe all of you a HUGE apology. What I meant to be a short break from writing turned into a major case of writer's block and laziness. If you're still reading this, I have to say thank you, and that I plan to update much more frequently. I have the rest of the story planned out, and just need to write it up. However, above all, I owe a major thank you to Dom for kicking my bum into gear and getting me to write this chapter, and back on board to write the rest of this story. So thank you, and I'll be posting the next chapter up soon!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Ch 19**

Being back in England was... good. Admittedly, the forty-eight hours I had been back had been spent in a small prep room in the Ministry of Magic, which we were granted as space to plan for our case. Our case, which would be happening in under three hours.

We were granted these three hours to go shower, get ready, and try and calm ourselves down, which was no easy feat. I had contemplated going back to Mum and Dad's for that time, but even just imagining how Mum would fuss and be high strung gave me a headache, so it was crossed out.

And as every family member would likely have that same reaction, I felt like I had no other choice. Not that going to Teddy's was a bad one by any means, but I had wished to have more than three hours to see him again. But you take what you can get, I suppose.

I knocked on the front door, and Teddy opened it, a smile unfurling on his face in a manner of seconds. I shrieked in laughter as he picked me up and spun me around, happily embracing him back.

"Lily!" He exclaimed, happily ushering me inside.

"Teddy!" I mocked back, smirking at him before turning the conversation to why I was really there. "Listen, I know this is kinda a mood killer, and really random and probably really rude, but I have to be in court in three hours and I need somewhere to shower and get ready, and I just _know _Mum would freak and just stress me out more and so would anyone else-"

He put his hand over my mouth, cutting off my nervous rant with an amused smile.

"You know my door's always open," and with that he backed away and gestured for me to go get ready. I sent him a thankful smile and rushed on. Being presentable would take some work, after all. Especially as the only sleep I had gotten had been a few hours here and there during breaks.

I took deep breaths while rinsing the conditioner out of my hair, the actions familiar and calming. I didn't even have to say anything- we were just there as support and to hear the verdict with our own ears.

There isn't anything else you can do, I tried to remind myself.

It was still hard to admit that even after giving everything you had, it still might not be good enough. I shoved my feet into the only pair of pants I owned that didn't have holes or mud stains, which were a mildly nice black pair that were a bit too long. The single blouse I managed to fish out of my bag that wasn't in some way singed was a bit too loose, and the entire outfit together was a bit of a mess. I winced as I looked in the mirror.

Teddy chuckled at me when I awkwardly padded out of the room, barefoot as I had just realized the only shoes I still owned were a pair of sandals, a pair of trainers, and a pair of hiking boots. He shook his head at me before pulling out a bag from deep in the closet.

I refrained from flinching, these were obviously clothes Victoire had left behind, though the fact that he had them buried so far back was also a bit reassuring. I threw on the first pair of heels I saw, tucked my blouse in, and slipped on a plain blazer.

All in all, it wasn't so bad, I reflected, snapping my hair into a simple bun. Viola. I stuck my tongue out at Teddy and he bopped me on the head good naturedly.

"Ready?" He asked, and a glance at the askew clock on his wall told me that it was, indeed, about time I went to the Ministry to meet up with the rest of the gang to get ready to go watch the Wizengamot trial.

I gave a quiet laugh. "Not really, but there's no point in a delay."

He grinned and shook his head, giving me some Floo powder and walking me to his fireplace.

"I know you're gonna win this," He said, reassuringly stroking my cheek with his thumb, his forehead resting against mine. "And when you do, don't forget that I'm right here."

"I won't forget. I don't think I could." I said with a grin, giving him a sort, soft kiss, before hopping in the fireplace and flooing to the Ministry.

For a moment my nerves were gone, replaced by blue hair and golden eyes, and then they were back in full force. My stomach coiled, and my mouth became dry. The smooth black walls and floors of the Ministry surrounded me. This was it.


End file.
